Take your time. Don't want to cramp up.
For a history lesson: He may see you when you're sleeping and know when you're awake, but this exhibit at the Glencairn Museum (1001 Cathedral Rd., Bryn Athyn, Pa.) traces St. Nick's visual representation in the 1800s. The special display is open from noon until 4:30 p.m.
For a world record: The Congregations of Shaare Shamayim (9768 Verree Rd.) will construct and light the World's Largest Balloon Menorah, an addition to the titles the Congregation already holds (World's Largest Hamantasch and Number of People Blowing the Shofar) at 6 p.m. They're aiming for the structure to stand at 22 feet, two feet higher than the current record holder. Afterwards, come inside for a magic show, latkes and sofganyiot (jelly donuts).
For something heavy: Swedish death metal outfit Opeth bring their prog-infused sounds to the Electric Factory (421 7th St.) in support of their 11th album at 7:30 p.m.
For an X-Rated Xmas: Cult-classic director John Waters comes to Union Transfer (1026 Spring Garden St.) for a one-man show — starting at 8:30 p.m. — divulging his Christmas fantasies and horror stories.
For a soap opera tribute: The performers in The Dumpsta Players, a local theatre group, pulls out all the stops for an over-the-top accolade of the '80s soap "Dynasty," through epic lip sync and reenactments. Expect fights, trashy pop songs, a baby in danger, a closeted gay husband and disco queens from "Dynasty Realness," coming at you at 11 p.m. at Bob and Barbara's Lounge (1509 South St.) tonight.