Ah, Walt Disney World. It's the place where dreams come true... and also the place where snobbish one-percenters hire "black-market tour guides" with disabilities so that their spoiled Waldo Aloysius Johnston III's don't have to wait in line.

The New York Post is reporting that the phone number for a company called Dream Tours was making the rounds among Manhattan's most privileged when travel spiked around spring break.

"My daughter waited one minute to get on 'It's a Small World' — the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours," crowed one mom, who hired a disabled guide through Dream Tours Florida.

"You can't go to Disney without a tour concierge,'' she sniffed. "This is how the 1 percent does Disney."

The woman said she hired a Dream Tours guide to escort her, her husband and their 1-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter through the park in a motorized scooter with a "handicapped" sign on it. The group was sent straight to an auxiliary entrance at the front of each attraction.

How much does a tour like that run?

The "black-market Disney guides" run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.

Ugh. In my head, all of the parents who hired a disabled tour guide for the express purpose of cutting the lines did so immediately after attending a H.O.O.P. fundraiser and accusing "the help" of stealing a misplaced necklace. All of their kids grow up to star on My Super Sweet Sixteen and then punch Joseph Gordon-Levitt in the face at prom. The world is a terrible place and we're going to end up destroying ourselves. [New York Post]