Recently, the world learned that Google has been rapidly acquiring robotics companies, probably with the long-term goal of enslaving humanity for the rest of eternity. Boston Dynamics and their fleet of animal-themed monstrosities were the latest addition to the terrifying Google Robot Army.

Stephen Colbert has watched Terminator too many times to go down without a fight, though. Convinced he cannot outrun the Cheetah or escape the robot that can leap to the top of a two-story building, Colbert has resorted to breeding Ewoks to help resist the machine takeover from the ground up.

If you're reading this, you are the resistance.

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