LIKE MANY A celebrity faced with a guilty verdict,

Paris Hilton

has taken responsibility. She's fired her publicist.

In Touch Weekly reported the "news" yesterday.

If you weren't hiding under a rock this weekend, you are probably aware that Paris was sentenced Friday to 45 days in L.A.'s Century Regional Detention Facility (CRDF) for violating her probation following a September DUI charge. She must report to jail by June 5.

But if she waits that long she's going to miss Lindsay Lohan's two-day 21st birthday extravaganza the first week in July.

Can you imagine how peeved Lindsay will be if Paris steals her b-day thunder with her first post-slammer public appearance?

But back to inmate Hilton. She reportedly canned long-time publicist Elliot Mintz becaused she blamed him - in court - for telling her that her license had only been suspended for 30 days and that she could still drive for work-related matters.

Prosecutors didn't buy it. Judge Michael T. Sauer didn't buy it, either. Hence, 45 days at the Greybar Hilton.

Having never been punished for anything, Paris was shocked by the verdict and plans to appeal.

* At CRDF, minutes from nearby Compton, reports TMZ.com, Paris will get three low-sodium meals a day. She may get a roommate, but TMZ.com believes she will be separated, for her own safety, from gen pop. In what may be the toughest adjustment, BlackBerries aren't allowed and she will get only one hour a day to shower, exercise, watch TV or talk on the phone.

As for jumpsuits, it's blue, brown, white or orange.

* "I'm very sorry and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything," Paris told Judge Sauer before he announced the sentence.

Previously she had told the judge she didn't read her own mail and just signed what people put in front of her.

That would include the document a policeman had her sign when he told her her license had been suspended.

* When a city prosecutor said during closing arguments that Paris deserved jail time, her mother, Kathy, laughed. When the judge ruled, Kathy blurted out: "May I have your autograph?"

A reporter asked a fuming mom what she thought of the judge's decision, and she responded: "What do you think? This is pathetic and disgusting, a waste of taxpayer money with all this nonsense. This is a joke."

No one would be laughing if she'd hit someone, Kathy.

Paris' attorney Howard Weitzman said the sentence was "uncalled for, inappropriate and bordered on the ludicrous."

"I think she's singled out because of who she is," he said.

So? If Paris was singled out, it's because she's made a "career," for lack of a better word, of singling herself out.

But let's face it. On Sept. 7, Paris was arrested for drunken driving, fined and given probation.

On Jan. 15, she was pulled over and warned she was driving on a suspended license. Then on the night of Feb. 27, when she was still not supposed to be driving, she was pulled over again for speeding with her lights off.

The alcohol program for her probation? She never took it. Exactly how many chances should Paris get before a judge says "enough"?

As for Eve . . .

L.A. prosecutors filed misdemeanor charges Friday against Philadelphia actress/rapper Eve stemming from a traffic accident in the wee hours of April 26, when she was caught driving under the influence.

She was easy to catch since she totaled her sports car by hitting the concrete center median on Hollywood Boulevard.

Eve is scheduled to be arraigned May 17. She faces a maximum penalty of 180 days in jail and a $1,000 fine.

City attorney spokesman Frank Mateljan said a minimum sentence would include three years' probation, a fine of at least $390, and an alcohol education program, among other DUI-related conditions.

And lastly, Lindsay

We saw Lindsay Lohan on "Ellen" last week and thought she looked happy, healthy and was a charming guest.

Yesterday, newsoftheworld.-com ran a report with fuzzy pictures, saying her rehab was a sham and she's a cokehead.

Lindsay was allegedly caught on video by a "friend" in the bathroom of Teddy's in Hollywood's Roosevelt Hotel, taking a bag of white powder from her jeans pocket.

Talcum, perhaps? Must we rule out chafing? Uh, maybe.

Newsoftheworld.com says she dips a finger in the bag and puts the substance up a friend's nose before snorting some herself.

Her "friend" said that at one party shortly after Lindsay's rehab release, "I saw her do more than 20 big lines of cocaine."

"I remember looking at her and thinking how pathetic she looked and how out of control she had become.

"When she is on coke, which is most of the time, all the attention has to be on her.

"I have lost count of the number of times I have watched as she stripped naked in front of everyone."

The "friend" adds, "She has told me that she has slept with James Blunt, Jude Law, Calum Best, Joaquin Phoenix, Benicio Del Toro, Jared Leto and James Franco."

Was that on a slow day?

"Going to rehab was all for publicity," the "friend" goes on.

"In an average night Lindsay will do two-and-a-half grams of coke on her own."

That's why, the "friend" says, she took the video. "So the world can know what Lindsay has been doing and she can't lie about it to herself or anyone else."

Come on, Lindsay. If this is true, you need serious help. If it's not, you need new friends. *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.