The appointment's set. Not for
's next mani/pedi, but for a 45-day stint in an L.A. jail cell.
It can't get here soon enough.
Ironically, becoming the country's most glamorous jailbird could turn out to be the best thing for the "Simple Life" co-star. Not just for what it'll do for her lame excuse for a career, but because it might inject meaning into an otherwise vapid existence.
Think about it: If one of America's most notorious party girls winds up actually serving time behind bars instead of merely guzzling drinks in one, she'll do this country the valuable service of reminding people that the justice system works and that money isn't always a get-out-of-jail-free card.
Even if you're an heiress and look totally hot in Jackie O.-style shades.
And if we're lucky, the latest chapter in the life of this spoiled pop icon could help serve as a wake-up call to all the everyday folk who do the same thing that Hilton did and get away with it. Mothers Against Drunk Driving estimates that the average drunk driver operates a vehicle 100 times under the influence before authorities finally catch up to him or her.
As it stands now, there's hardly any stigma associated with getting a DUI. Think of all the celebrities who've been arrested and continued on with their careers. So far, it hasn't hurt Hilton's. She's even on next month's cover of Harper's Bazaar magazine.
And who can forget Mel Gibson's drunken anti-Semitic tirade? Think of all the celebrities who followed right behind him. Vivica A. Fox, who appeared on last season's "Dancing With the Stars," is due to be arraigned tomorrow for driving under the influence as is our own Philly homegirl, Eve.
Eve, whose real name is Jihan Jeffers, was arrested last month after allegedly striking a raised concrete center median on Los Angeles' Hollywood Boulevard. Hilton gal-pal Nicole Richie was arrested for the second time on DUI charges in December.
Authorities have also pulled over Haley Joel Osment, Tracy Morgan, Ty Pennington and Taboo (Jaime Luis Gomez of the Black Eyed Peas) on similar charges in recent months. (For more star arrests, log onto www.totaldui.com.)
Everyone's presumed innocent until proven guilty. But, still, you've gotta wonder why some of the stars who legitimately were under the influence when stopped by police didn't hire a limo. As Hilton continues the countdown until the June 5 start of her jail sentence, these celebs must be more than a little worried about their own fates.
For Hilton, this latest run-in was her second go-around with DUI charges. When she was pulled over this latest time, Hilton had been driving with a license already suspended because of a prior offense. Instead of admitting her error, Hilton immediately tried to pass the blame on to her publicist, whom she fired, and then rehired,who, she claims, gave her the OK to drive.
We know the real reason though: Being arrogant and feeling above the law.
There ain't a rehab in the world that can fix that. But I can think of a few jail cells that might. *