DEAR ABBY: When my husband, "Jeff," and I married, we drew up a medical proxy and health-care directives should future incapacitation arise. Jeff is now terminally ill with brain cancer and has about five months to live. I had to quit working because Jeff is now my full-time job.
As his illness progresses, we have discussed placing him in a hospice. But the closer he gets to death, the more he changes his mind. He demands that I lift, jerk and pull him in and out of bed. He needs assistance eating, dressing, bathing and using the toilet and is in a wheelchair.
Jeff's tumor is growing and affecting his mental attitude. He's impatient, demanding, selfish and nasty. I'm caring for him at home because it's his home and I am his wife. At what point do I put him in a hospice facility without Jeff kicking and screaming to be let out and return home?
— End of My Rope
DEAR END: Please accept my sympathy. Your husband is sick and in pain, probably frightened and the cancer may have affected his ability to think rationally.