The American Debate: You can’t make this stuff up

Happy holidays. My gift to you is a 2012 election trivia quiz. No fair peeking at the answers!

1. Which lies did Mitt Romney utter repeatedly on his way to defeat?

a. President Obama was trying to "gut" the federal welfare-to-work law.

b. Obama had a "Kenyan, anticolonial worldview."

c. Obama's auto bailout was sending auto jobs from Ohio to China.

d. Obama traveled the world on an "apology tour."

e. Obama engineered "a government takeover of health care."

f. All except c.

g. All except b.

2. The autumn polls consistently showed that Obama would win, but the view was different inside the pro-Romney bubble. Match the pundit to the prediction:

a. Dick Morris

b. Michael Barone.

c. Bill Kristol

d. Peggy Noonan

I. "A Romney landslide."

II. "Fundamentals usually prevail. Bad news for Barack Obama."

III. "A Romney win. ... All the vibrations are right."

IV . "Marvelous Mitt" could get "a serious mandate."

3. Describe what Republican strategist Karl Rove did on Election Night, as it became clear that he had wasted $300 million of his donors' money.

a. Phoned George W. Bush and they reminisced about the glory days.

b. Jokingly tweeted, "I've got to find myself another line of work."

c. Told his super PAC donors that he'd find a way to refund their money.

d. Melted down on Fox News, demanding that Fox not call Ohio for Obama.

4. Obama endorsed gay marriage in May because:

a. Human-rights protesters on Pennsylvania Avenue were disrupting his sleep.

b. Joe Biden forced his hand, saying he was fine with it.

c. His reelection strategists told him gay voters were crucial in swing states.

d. Over the protests of his strategists, he summoned the moral courage to lead.

5. How did Rush Limbaugh characterize Sandra Fluke, the law student who was barred by House Republicans from testifying that insurance plans should cover birth control?

a. She's a "prostitute."

b. "She's having so much sex, it's amazing she can still walk."

c. "She's a sex-obsessed socialist."

d. She's a "slut."

e. All except b.

f. All except c.

6. In the first presidential debate, a listless Obama said: "There are a lot of points I want to make tonight, but the most important one is ...

a. " ... that I sure wish my White Sox had made the playoffs."

b. " ... I just want to wish, Sweetie, you, happy anniversary."

c. " ... that it's great to be here in Hempstead - no, that's the next one."

d. " ... that Gov. Romney and I agree on a lot of the points I will make tonight."

7. True or false: On an episode ofGame of Thrones, one of the severed heads on a spike at the castle of bratty King Joffrey was actually a prosthetic of George W. Bush. A producer explained, "We had to use whatever heads we had around."

8. At a Warsaw war memorial in July, when reporters sought to question a Romney spokesman about the candidate's embarrassing verbal miscues in London and Israel, he replied:

a. "You people have never run a business or met a payroll."

b. "Take a hike. Come back when your questions are less liberal."

c. "Knock off the Obama bias, or you're walking back to America."

d. "Kiss my a-, this is a holy site."

9. True or false: Several months after Pennsylvania's Republican governor and legislature enacted a photo-ID law, claiming it was needed to combat voter-impersonation fraud, their lawyers admitted in a sworn court affidavit that there was no evidence whatsoever of voter- impersonation fraud.

10. Foster Friess, a rich guy who bankrolled Rick Santorum's campaign, did his bit to help alienate women voters from the GOP when he said the best contraceptive was:

a. A Lawrence Welk record on the record player.

b. A chastity belt locked around the torso.

c. A Bayer aspirin lodged between the knees.

d. A New Testament clutched in the hands.

11. Name the 2012 memorial service where Obama said: "Out of this darkness, a brighter day will come."

a. For the five factory workers shot dead in Minneapolis (Sept. 27).

b. For the 12 moviegoers shot dead in Aurora, Colo. (July 20).

c. For the six Sikhs shot dead in Oak Creek, Wis. (Aug. 5).

d. For the 20 schoolchildren shot dead in Newtown, Conn. (Dec. 14).

e. Obama told his speechwriters that he'd never utter such an empty platitude.

12. Poetic justice: Romney was caught on video telling fat-cat donors that 47 percent (fill in the blank) - and his final share of the popular vote was also 47 percent.

a. 47 percent of his wealth was securely sheltered in tax-free offshore accounts.

b. 47 percent of the square footage at his new La Jolla manse was reserved for a car elevator.

c. 47 percent of the Hispanic electorate would vote for him if his surname was Hispanic.

d. 47 percent of the American people were too lazy to take responsibility for their own lives.

e. 47 percent of the companies he purchased for Bain Capital have gone under.

13. True or false: Obama's reelection will usher in a new era of bipartisan comity in Washington.

Answers:

1. g., the Kenya lie was retailed by Newt Gingrich; 

2. a-I; b-II; c-IV; d-III.

3. d;

4. b;

5. f;

6. b;

7. True;

8. d; 

9. True;

10. c;

11. b;

12. d;

13. Oh, please. You know the answer already.