Ed Barkowitz: Just Smile & Say Thanks - It's Charity

Q: For the last four to five years, I've gotten the same type of Christmas gift. It is a donation in my name to a charity. The cause changes every year. Sometimes the charities have been ones that would not be to my choosing, or liking. Do I have any room to question this without sounding greedy?

- Jackie from Spring City

A: I think you would sound unappreciative, petty and would probably wind up being cut off somebody's gift list.

First of all, for somebody to even give you a gift is their privilege and not your right, so you

really have little or no room to question their intentions. Maybe they think that instead of giving you a fruit cake, a donation in your name to a charity is a more noble gesture.

There are a zillion charities out there and, yes, maybe the donation in your name is not going to a charity of your choosing, but it's the holidays, girl, so just get over it and say a simple thank you and don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Q: I think you are a good

person to ask since you have had many nicknames. My son must have 10 or more nicknames from his childhood friends. He's in college now. Most of them make no sense and it irritates me. Should I say something to his friends?

- Bumming in Broomall

A: Not unless you want them to come up with a nickname for you. Seriously, this is just something between the boys that

they'll probably outgrow some day. If it bothers your son, then it's more appropriate for him to say something.

I always smile when I read in the papers about gangsters with nicknames like Tommy No Neck or Pete the Crumb or Skinny Vinny. Can you imagine going to a doctor or lawyer named Fat Tony or Butterfingers Bobby or Crazy Eyez Killah?

As long as your son's nickname isn't cruel or offensive, it's cool. No need for you to be Mommy Meddler.