Review: Controversial 'Eli Stone' debuts Thur. on ABC

The American Academy of Pediatrics called for the cancellation of tomorrow night's premiere of the goofy-Gus lawyer show

Eli Stone

on ABC at 10. "Perpetuates the myth that vaccines cause autism," said the academy president. "Height of reckless irresponsibility."

Boston Legal, TV's all-time primo psych ward for courthouse crazies (a senior partner who shoots people, an associate with multiple personalities, another who's a former madam, another who whoops and hops, and a long laundry list of outrageous clients and causes), has never been damned by doctors, nor, at least in recent memory, by any august organization.

That's because - despite its imaginary hijinks and impossible legal system, where cases are tried in 20 minutes by loquacious speechifiers, before outrageous judges who are incompetent in every aspect except their judgment, and the craziest crazy man has never lost a case - Boston Legal takes facts and the law very seriously. Producer David E. Kelley started life as a lawyer.

They would never have somebody win a lawsuit claiming that a vaccine caused her son's autism, as Eli Stone does, when, as the Centers for Disease says, "the weight of medical evidence indicates that vaccines are not associated with autism."

That's not important in Eli Stone.

Under the tutelage of Greg Berlanti, no entertainment slouch with Everwood and Brothers & Sisters, among others, under his belt, Eli Stone uses legal matters simply to advance its overstuffed story of a San Franciscan with hallucinations who turns his back on a high-powered law career to defend the downtrodden.

So the show, which piles fantasy on filigree, has no solid center. Any cook knows a cake can't be only icing, no matter how many swirly confections and cute sugar buttons.

It's not the worst thing you've ever seen, innocuous entertainment (despite the inoculation controversy) that, like Boston Legal, includes the occasional entertaining musical number.

Everywhere you turn, in fact, it's like Boston Legal, even if the caring and quirky secretary (Loretta Devine) was a caring and hysterical teacher on another Kelley show, Boston Public. And if Legal is already one of your favorite shows, which it should be, Eli Stone seems simply extraneous, even with a few recognizable faces in the hash: Victor Garber from Alias, Tom Amandes from Everwood. Julie Gonzalo, no longer long-haired nor blond, as she was when she was Parker Lee in Veronica Mars, arrives next week as a hapless first-year associate.

The show opens with our hero, in suit and tie, setting off from base camp in the wild Himalayas, as his guides crack wise (in subtitles), and then it proceeds to reveal how he got there.

After he's interrupted while romancing fiancée Natasha Henstridge in his living room by visions of George Michael giving the full lounge-show rendition of "Faith," Stone goes for acupuncture from Dr. Chen (James Saito), direct from the Charlie Chan casting academy.

Chen turns out to be less of a cliche than you think, but he's still convinced that Eli is a prophet. The more scientifically inclined in the medical establishment, including Eli's brother, think his visions come from a brain aneurysm.

"So that's my story. It's got Sherpas and George Michael. It's got cable cars and prophecies and mystical Chinese doctors."

What? No baby, bathwater or kitchen sink?

To placate the physicians, ABC agreed to direct viewers to the Centers for Disease Control autism Web site, and also run a disclaimer: "The following story is fictional and does not portray any actual persons, companies, products or events."

To that obviousness, they could have added, "and it's not really worth your time."