Outlet: Schmitter

We went: 6:10 p.m. (pregame)

Wait for service: None.

Order: One Schmitter.

Cost: $9.50, not including chips or beverage.

The legend: For reasons unknown, the Phillie Phoodie had never had a Schmitter, either at the ballpark or its ancestral home, McNally's Tavern in Chestnut Hill. But for years, he had heard raves about this grilled-on-a-Kaiser-roll Frankensandwich made of roast beef, salami, American cheese, fried onions and tomato, topped with a Russian dressing-style sauce.

Phindings: Unfortunately, PP's sky-high expectations came nowhere near to being met. Not that the Schmitter wasn't filling (according to livestrong.com, it boasts 906 calories and 50.1 grams of fat). But as far as taste goes, the sandwich was, in a word, bland. Its most distinctive flavor came from the tomato.

Everything else was masked by the mild, uninteresting dressing. There was no discernible difference between the beef and salami. And if there were fried onions on in the mix, either they were flavorless or the Phoodie's taste buds were on the phritz. The Schmitter could have been a few degrees warmer, too. In all, a huge letdown.