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Steve and Mia | His passing game deserves to be blitzed

PROBLEM WITH THIS COME-ON IS IT'S ALL RELATIVE

Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a 20-something single immersed in the Center City dating scene. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. If you'd like an answer to your romantic troubles, e-mail them at S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M c/o Daily News, Box 7788, Philadelphia, PA 19101.

Q: My wife told me that at a family party last weekend, my sister's husband made a pass at her. I was never wild about this guy - he's an egomaniac - but my sister loves him like crazy, so we've gotten along. My dilemma is this: Do I tell my sister? Do I confront this cad? Or should I do nothing?

Mia: I vote nothing. It will only upset your sister, who will probably get pissed at your wife and take her husband's side.

If you want to maintain family ties, I'd stay mum.

Just make sure your wife isn't alone with the guy again.

Steve: If you tell your sister, she won't believe you and will blame your wife.

If the guy just had a drink too many and it's never happened before, it's best to ignore it.

If there's another incident, take him quietly aside, in a sober moment, and, while smiling, tell him he'll be subject to radical nonelective surgery if it ever happens again.

Q: Why is it that the women I am most attracted to are never interested in me?

There are girls who like me and I know I could date, but I just don't feel anything for them. It seems like every time I meet someone I really like, she doesn't feel the same way or she's already attached. Is this just bad luck?

Steve: A quick survey shows that this has happened to, well, everybody. Keep meeting women, and eventually you'll find one you like who likes you back.

Mia: I think this is the "grass is always greener" problem or the "you can't always get what you want" or some other such cliché.

Try going out on a date with one of the girls who are interested in you. You might find out you like her.

Q: Why do people who have babies think it's appropriate to bring them everywhere?

My fiance and I don't want any kids at our wedding . . . it's a grown-up affair. But some people with little ones think we're being jerks. Are we?

Mia: Nope. It's your wedding, so you can call the shots. It might be nice, however, to reserve rooms at a hotel that provides baby-sitting, or maybe have a kid-friendly lunch or barbecue the next day.

Steve: Figure out if you want them at the reception and not the ceremony, or not at all. Then contact each of your friends with small children.

Offering an alternative event for kids is a good idea, but if it's grown-ups only, tell them they'll have to arrange for a baby sitter.

Unless they're totally selfish, they'll understand.

Q: A question of rowhouse etiquette: Our neighbors are an elderly couple. This morning, he stepped out to get his paper on his back stoop - buck naked.

I was clearly visible, sitting at my kitchen counter with the back door open. And this isn't the first time he's done it. He's a very nice guy, but I fear he's flashing us. How do I tell my neighbor to knock it off?

Steve: You tell him politely, but firmly. You don't want to humiliate him, but remind him that we all must observe certain social standards. If he wants to show off, he can go to a nude beach.

Mia: My college roommate used to like to sleep naked. She also liked to go to bed at 9:30 p.m., so if a friend of mine came by, they'd see naked Shelly lying in bed.

Finally I told her it wasn't appropriate behavior when you had to share a space with somebody. She wasn't thrilled, but she wore a T-shirt after that. I'm sure your neighbor can do the same.*