Couple's fights can get nasty, and now he's bought a gun
She and her hubs have a volatile relationship, and shes worried that the gun he bought for self-protection might escalate their arguments.
Q: My husband and I have a sometimes volatile relationship. Nothing major, but there have been times when we were drinking that things got out of hand. He recently purchased a pistol for self-protection. He keeps it locked away, but it makes me crazy just knowing it's in the house. It's not like I think he would actually use it, but when we argue, the fact that it's here is in the back of my mind. We have been going back and forth on this and getting nowhere.
Mia: Your problems are bigger than that gun, girlfriend. You two need to discuss the issue of physical abuse, and maybe drinking as well. As for the gun, you are right to be concerned. Your "Spidey sense" is telling you that it could be a problem when you two have your next blowout. Don't ignore that!
Steve: Some men buy pistols for protection, and some buy them because a long barrel appeals to them. It's a psychological thing. The pistol gives them confidence. Allow the weapon, but insist on no bullets, so neither of you lose your temper and kill your partner.
Editor's note: Last week's question from a mom who wanted to go braless with teen boys in the home prompted this letter from a reader:
Q: Honey, it's your house and your comfort; free the girls! This will teach the young gentlemen you are raising that boobs are no big deal. Women have them - get over it!
If the dad and sons have a problem with that, there are much bigger issues in your house to take care of. If mom can't go braless in her own home, then she needs to require white undershirts with regular T-shirts over top of them at all times in the house.
Can't have male nipples showing. It might give mom the vapors, since dad, Steve, and Mia think we are living in the 18th century again!
Signed, Cathy (a mom of a 36-year-old son who wasn't scarred for life as a teen by seeing mom braless).
Mia: You can trip over your tatas if you like, but I stand by my earlier recommendation to at least wear a loose-fitting sports bra around your kids. I know it's a woman's right to be comfortable in her own home but there's a limit. But that's me.
I do think you should keep it hot. I don't believe in wearing ugly sweatpants around the house or sleeping in ratty old T-shirts. And don't get me started on hair rags and satin sleep bonnets when you're trying to keep things hot with your guy. But that's another column.
Steve: Your son and you weren't a problem. Your boyfriend's son and you might have been, however. It's going braless in front of men you don't know that causes trouble. Nip it in the bud.
Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of
answers. Contact them at S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 or steveandmia@phillynews.com.