Q: I met a guy on Tinder and I think he could be the one. My problem is that he's separated, but he still lives in the house with his wife. He said he sleeps in the basement and she sleeps upstairs. He told me they're only together because of the kids. She called me on my cell yesterday and asked me who I was. She told me she was married to "Barry," and that he was cheating on her with me. I confronted him and he said they are not together, that she's crazy and is trying to run me off. He said he's falling in love with me and he begged me to give him time to get his life together. Should I wait?
Steve: Tinder is great because most relationships created by it explode in lies, selfishness, and heartbreak. Tell him it's best to take a break. Tell him that when he gets a new home and is divorced - and everything he says is fact-checked to make sure he's not lying - only then will you resume a romance with him.
My guess is you'll never hear from him again. If you do, fact check everything he tells you.
Mia: Don't be a fool. You know this is bull. Get back to swiping.
Q: I met a woman in college three weeks ago; now we're on Thanksgiving break. I can't get her out of my head. The more I think about it, the more in love I seem to be. Here's the problem: I don't know exactly how she feels about me. She was friendly, but I have no idea how deep her feelings go. What can I do when I get back to school to gauge her true feelings and, if possible, get her to fall in love with me?
Mia: Dude, chill. Acting clingy and desperate will only push her away. Head to the gym for a workout, or maybe start your Christmas shopping. In other words, do something besides obsess about a woman you don't even know.
Steve: This reminds me of an experience I had in college. I told her, "I'm gonna do all the things for you a girl wants a man to do, oh, baby. I'll sacrifice for you, I'll even do wrong for you, oh, baby ... "
It worked for a while until she heard a certain song by Kenny Gamble and Jerry Ross. "Come back when you have some original material," she told me.
So the lesson is just be open and honest with her. Be yourself. If she's attracted, then you can put on a romantic record.
Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of