He was born Issur Danielovitch to outsiders - Russian Jewish immigrants - in what he calls the "WASP town" of Amsterdam, N.Y. He was a man's man, but his Vincent van Gogh in 1956's Lust for Life was a paradoxically delicate and yet baroque revelation. At the age of 90, Kirk Douglas doesn't do film, but he seems to have become a one-man publishing industry. Douglas, father to film powerhouse Michael Douglas, has just published his ninth book, Let's Face It: 90 Years of Living, Loving and Learning, which includes such sunny chapters as "Thinking About Death" and "Almost Dying." It's not a morbid text, he says, but a way to prepare for the inevitable. "When you reach 90, you are living on the house's money," Douglas tells Reuters. The deepest insight his age has brought? "You look back and realize how egotistical you were in your youth, how wrapped up you were in yourself," he said. But Douglas isn't wrapped up in memento mori. He's a veritable whippersnapper when asked his goal for his 91st year. "I'd like to meet Angelina Jolie," he said. "If my wife approves."

Another starlet scandal?

Lindsay Lohan's lawyers are demanding that News of the World produce a video the Brit tab says shows the actress snorting cocaine, the New York Daily News reports.

In its Monday edition, World cited an anonymous Lohan friend who says the Herbie Fully Loaded star had a "marathon cocaine binge" just 20 days after she left rehab. The pal says she released the video "so the world can know what Lindsay has been doing and she can't lie about it to herself or anyone else." The low-quality vid (portions are posted on youtube.com) is dated March 8 and also has Lohan allegedly bragging she has had many and varied sexual conquests and bedded a bevy of hunks, including Calum Best, Joaquin Phoenix, Benicio Del Toro and James Blunt.

The L.L. pal said the 21-year-old actress, who is booked on David Letterman's show tonight, went to rehab at L.A.'s posh Wonderlands last winter only as a publicity stunt. There has been no comment from Lohan reps.

George Michael's shame

George Michael pleaded guilty yesterday to "driving while unfit due to drugs" after London police found the Wham! survivor slumped over his steering wheel. (Did they have to perform an emergency "Wake Me Up Before You Go" to rouse Michael?)

In a dramatic plea, Michael spoke of being "very ashamed," of being "perfectly aware that I did something very wrong" and "very stupid." He virtually begged for a spanking. "I am perfectly prepared to accept the correct punishment."

The 43-year-old, who's had his share of embarrassing brushes with police (including his infamous '98 "lewd act" bust in an L.A. public men's room), faces a max six-month jail term and a fine of up to $9,968. He's due back in court May 30.

A Paris petition

In an unprecedented outpouring of love, Paris Hilton's fans (there must be so many) have posted an online petition (www.ipetitions.com/petition/PH21781) asking California's Govinator to pardon the 26-year-old celebutante, who must report to jail June 5 for a 45-day sentence for violating her probation in a reckless-driving case.

The petition, which had 900 signatures by yesterday morning, paints a picture of Paris not so different from many other prisoners of conscience, including Alexander Solzhenitysn and Nelson Mandela: It decries the prospect that such a singular visionary as Paris, who provides "beauty and excitement" to "most of our mundane lives," should be caged like a beast. The petition says Paris, who was sent down for driving with a suspended license following a DUI bust, "provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world" because of her position as "an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune."

Of weddings . . .

People mag has confirmed that lovely Scream queen Neve Campbell ignored my advice and wed that John Light guy, 32, who's also quite pretty, in a no-doubt fabu Malibu ceremony Saturday. Light, who met and fell for Neve on the set of an '01 film they did together, called, appropriately enough, Investigating Sex, reportedly proposed to Neve on one knee - while reciting Shakespeare. (Snooty show-off.) Neve was previously shackled to Jeff Colt.

Meanwhile, actress Brittany Murphy and screenwriter Simon Monjack, who've been dating for like 11 minutes, showed up at the Kentucky Derby in Louisville as man and wife, the New York Post reports. Brit, whose 8 Miles and Clueless characters are both quite impulsive, has broken off a string of engagements over the last couple of years. Her rep has not made any comments.

. . . and babies

Kevin Costner and his wife of two years, Christine Baumgartner, welcomed their first baby with each other, boy Cayden Wyatt Costner, on Sunday. The fifth child for the 52-year-old Costner, Cayden is a living testament that Kevin's seed is a strong seed.

But Costner ain't alone: People reports that Miranda Rijnsburger, girlfriend of 63-year-old Spanish heartthrob Julio Iglesias, gave birth Saturday, also to a son. Guillermo is the fifth child for Julio and the 41-year-old Dutch beauty. The virilest singer of them all has three other kids from his marriage to Isabel Preyslert.

Meanwhile, Oscar De La Hoya and his wife, Millie Corretjer, are expecting their fourth baby. And Brandon Flowers, front man for The Killers, and his wife, Tana, are expecting their first.

Kelly ♥ U

Contrary to rumors that her next album has been indefinitely pushed back, America's Idol-to-riches sweetheart, Kelly Clarkson, fully intends to deliver the goods to her people. Her third studio record, My December, will be out on July 24. The hard-working Texan will also launch a major tour July 11 in Portland, Ore. She'll play the Wachovia Center Aug. 14.

Tix cost $49.50 and $69.50, and go on sale Saturday at 10 a.m. Info: 1-800-298-4200 or www.ComcastTIX.com.

A Princely visit

The artist who once played around with monikering and remonikering himself with far-out monikers, including "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince," yesterday announced he'll play 21 shows in London starting Aug. 1. But Our Eccentric Prince said he won't play any other European dates in '07 because he is too busy with his Bible studies. (Prince is a Jehovah's Witness.)

"Last time I was here, a lot of people didn't get to see me," said Prince, "so we are trying to make it affordable for everybody." The $62 tickets will include a copy of Prince's new album, 3121.