Sideshow | Stallone to Aussies: Mea culpa

Sylvester Stallone

pleaded guilty yesterday, via his lawyers, to bringing vials of the growth hormone Jintropin to Australia, where the substance is restricted. Sly, who flew to Sydney Feb. 16 to promote his old-geezer-who-can-still-fight movie,

Rocky Balboa

, was arrested at the airport and charged with importing a banned substance when customs officials discovered 48 vials of the product.

"I made a terrible mistake, not because I was attempting to deceive anyone, but I was simply ignorant to your official rules," Stallone, 60, said in a statement. "I feel terrible that my breach of the rules has set a poor example to members of the public, whose opinion I cherish dearly."

Stallone's lawyers say the drug was prescribed for "a legitimate medical condition" and not because the famed Rocky star is a junkie or steroid nut.

Sly will be sentenced Monday.

XM Radio has suspended satellite shock jocks

Gregg "Opie" Hughes

and

Anthony Cumia

for 30 days, effective immediately, as punishment for a sick segment that had a homeless man fantasize about raping Secretary of State

Condoleezza Rice

and first lady

Laura Bush

.

The two apologized last week, but a statement released by XM Radio yesterday said that subsequent on-air comments by them "put into question whether they appreciate the seriousness of the matter."

In a testament to her sensitive, artist's sensibilities,

Paris Hilton

has been deemed too much a Victorian hysteric to deal with life.

According to Dr. Charles Sophy, who has treated the 28-year-old pro partier over the last eight months, Paris is "emotionally distraught and traumatized" over her 45-day jail sentence. So shaken is she, her doctor and lawyers say, that Paris cannot effectively participate in her defense against a $10 mil lawsuit filed by diamond heiress Zeta Graff, who claims Paris spread "vicious lies" about her. Graff also alleges that Paris was responsible for a report that she once tried to snatch a $4 million necklace from the hotel heiress' graceful throat. Hilton says she had nothing to do with that report.

A paparazzo named

Giovanni Arnold

has filed suit against

Lindsay Lohan

as well as Lindsay's mommie dearest,

Dina Lohan

, alleging that Lindsay hit him on March 13 in Manhattan with a BMW owned by Dina.

The photog claims he "sustained severe and permanent personal injuries," when he was hit. His lawyer, Marc Mauser, said yesterday that Arnold has suffered injuries to both knees and is "still getting medical treatment."

Arnold seeks unspecified monetary damages "for his pain and suffering and his lost wages."

Lindsay, 20, told the New York Post in March that Arnold was actually knocked down when some random photog from the horde of paparazzi surrounding her car jumped on the hood of the BMW.

The Lohans have 30 days to respond to the suit. They have yet to release a statement.

Titans

Steven Spielberg

and

Peter Jackson

will produce a series of three animated features based on

The Adventures of Tintin

, the beloved Euro comic-book series created between 1929 and 1976 by Belgian cartoonist

Hergé

(born

Georges Remi

).

Variety says the filmmakers have vowed they will not mess with Hergé's unique style. The characters, which include the young journalist, his dog Snowy and their gruff, bearded, pipe-smoking naval bud, Capt. Archibald Haddock, won't be cartoonish, Jackson said.

"We're making them look photorealistic; the fibers of their clothing, the pores of their skin and each individual hair. They look exactly like . . . real Hergé people!" he said.

Spielberg excitedly noted that his announcement comes days before Hergé's centennial. (Born May 22, 1907, the artist died in 1983.)

Having dealt with Tintin,

Spielberg

, who is an adviser for the '08 Beijing Olympics, turned his attention to politics, coming up with a foreign policy initiative for Chinese President

Hu Jintao

.

Spielberg counseled the leader to pressure Jordan to open its borders to U.N. peacekeepers to protect the victims of the genocide in Darfur.

"I share the concern of many around the world who believe that China should be a clear advocate for United Nations action to bring the genocide in Darfur to an end," said Spielberg.

Sitcom star

Tim Allen

is going

David Mamet.

Well, dog my cat!

Allen is onboard to star in the playwright-filmmaker's feature, the martial-arts drama Redbelt.

(Tim and martial arts? Priceless.)

He'll play a troubled, fading action hero in Redbelt, which will costar usual Mametians Rebecca Pidgeon and Joe Mantegna. Story is, Allen's downward spiral is interrupted when he is saved from extinction during a street fight by a jujitsu master (Chiwetel Ejiofor). But (just like E.T.?) the master will get sick and muddied when he's sucked into Tinseltown's dream factory.

Ever pray that some day you would experience the talent of 17-year-old

Sanjaya Malakar

live?

Salvation is at hand. The gnarly singer with the winningest hairstyle will headline the American Idols Live Tour, which will rock the Wachovia Center in Philly on Sept. 7. The show will also feature Idol's other top 10 finalists, including Blake Lewis, Chris Sligh, Gina Glocksen, Jordan Sparks and LaKisha Jones.

Tix cost $42.50 to $75.50 and go on sale Saturday at 10 a.m. Info: 1-800-298-4200 or www.ComcastTIX.com.

A Hot 100 for the (dark) ages

In a heinous miscarriage of aesthetic justice, Maxim mag lists Lindsay Lohan at No. 1 on the mag's 8th annual Hot 100 list. (Sure this isn't the annoyingest list?)

"There is no other star in the world [who] causes more of a stir in the public eye than Lindsay," Maxim editor Jimmy Jellinek said.

Cause a stir? So does West Nile virus. (Seems the stars are ranked according to beauty and buzz.)

Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Christina Aguilera and Jessica Biel round out the top five.

Rock and proto-punk god

Iggy Pop

, who's back on tour with

The Stooges

in support of

The Weirdness

, their first album in 35 years, shares with Guitar World mag his checkered past as a rock wild man's wild man who once writhed shirtless.

"We had absolutely no respect whatsoever for the conventions of human life or civilization," Pop says.

He says he got the idea to sing topless (thus showing off his gaunt, thin sickle of a torso) from "a book that I read on Egyptology." He thought "these guys look bitchin', they never wear shirts."