DEAR ABBY: I lost a lot of weight on a great diet. Everyone has been complimentary, except my husband. I have invited him to go on the diet with me, because he could stand to lose about 20 pounds himself. He refuses.

I thought my husband would enjoy the new me, and now I am wondering what could be wrong.

- Puzzled but Still Going Strong

DEAR PUZZLED: Congratulations on your weight loss. I don't know what's eating your husband, but I do know he appears to be invested in keeping you fat. I hope you will continue to eat and live more healthfully. This will require not allowing his problem to become yours, and "selective deafness" when he's spouting off. It also may require some professional counseling if he doesn't ease up, so be prepared.

DEAR ABBY: I want to be an actress more than anything else in the world, but my parents oppose it.

It's time for me to start thinking about college, and if I do what my parents want me to do, I don't think I will ever be happy. I don't want to stay in this town and be a teacher. I want to live in New York and be an actress.

- Despairing in the South

DEAR DESPAIRING: When parents give a child life, it is their responsibility to help that child develop his or her talents so that he or she can be successful and happy. It is possible that your parents are so emotionally invested in you that they are having trouble letting go.

If your dream is to be an actress, then that is the dream you should pursue - if only as a minor in college so that you will have a degree in something else in case "Plan A" doesn't work out. *