Dear Amy:

I have been living with my long-term sweetie for more than a decade.

Several times over the years I have suggested taking a week and going on a road trip. His answer has always been the same, "No - I have to work."

Now he wants to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon over the holidays! The catch is that he wants to go without me.

He announced his intentions last night at dinner with his parents, and I felt kicked in the stomach. Later, in bed, I asked him point-blank why he didn't want me along, and he immediately fell asleep. He has also been leaving the house early on the weekends and coming back after dark. Am I right to be so upset about all of this?

If he just wants some alone time, I can accept that, but I wonder if there is something else going on. And, of course, if there is something going on, what is it and what do I do when I find out?

Dear Girlfriend:

My powers of telepathy are admittedly limited, but I will climb out on a limb and say that, yes, something is going on with your live-in guy. What is going on? Close your eyes and imagine. That's what's going on.

You should approach your boyfriend about this during daylight hours when he's not able to feign sudden-onset narcolepsy. He will likely offer up any number of cover stories and explanations. And you should be very skeptical about his initial claims.

Then you should do what you need to do to get the whole truth on the table and take steps to heal this relationship - or do what you need to do to end it.