Ask Amy: Ah, jealousy in role-play land

Dear Amy:

Eighteen months ago, I got involved with an online role-playing game. I hooked up online with a wonderful woman named Cathy. We love each other and have exchanged letters. Despite the distance, it is a wonderful relationship - she lives on the other side of the world.

Recently, my online girlfriend has had a spat with one of our online friends in the role-playing game. Cathy admits she's jealous of how much time I get to talk with this other online friend, Laura. I told her there's nothing between Laura and me. Laura is too sarcastic and cynical for my tastes to start with, not to mention that she's with someone else.

Cathy has asked me to have one of my online game characters betray one of Laura's characters.

I want to make Cathy happy, but I know Laura has had issues with trust and betrayal. I feel that no matter what I choose, someone will be hurt.

Dear MIC:

After my standard boilerplate begging you to get a life and, to quote my mother, "go outside and play" (you need some fresh air, my friend), I will remind you that this is a "game," right?

In games, people play games. The object is to concoct interesting scenarios whereby your character gets involved, and involves others, in intrigue, danger or romance.

Perhaps if your character and Cathy's character got virtually "married," she would feel more secure about the relationship, but if negatively manipulating another character is the only thing that would make your "girlfriend" happy, then you need to think about the kind of "person" she really is.

Dear Amy:

Like "Food Fuss," I too suffer from food allergies. This kept me from eating many of the home-cooked foods my coworkers would bring in. When I explained my condition to them, they began to prepare little portions of their goodies without my allergens - just for me!

I was thrilled to get my own teeny loaf of nut-free banana bread, or brownies without nuts. Some people would even cook a small dish at our monthly potlucks for me. I don't work at that company anymore, but I never forgot how everyone there looked out for my health. I'll always be grateful.

Dear Robyn:

"Food Fuss" thought people were being nosy for inquiring about her food allergies, but as your experience shows, they likely were being thoughtful.