British tabloid the Sun (

» READ MORE: www.thesun.co.uk

) has posted a bizarre video from 1999 that features a 23-year-old

Angelina Jolie

'fessing up to some serious drug use - not to say a few creepy instances of what sound like animal battery.

Here are the bullet points. (We urge evildoers not to use this video to undermine the grow'd-up Jolie's many charitable works or her status as a soon-to-be loving, devoted mother of six.)

"I've done coke, heroin, ecstasy, LSD, everything. I gave them up long ago," Jolie says. (The Sun notes with equal interest that Jolie's hair is disheveled in the vid.)

Later, Jolie discusses what sounds like bondage sex. "It's just a cool thing," she says.

Jolie says some of her pets died: the mouse, because she dyed it blue. Her hamster caught pneumonia after Jolie took it into the shower. She left her lizards for too long under the sun.

Bob Hope's stuff on auction

Linda Hope

tells the Associated Press that her pa,

Bob Hope

, who died in 2003 at 100, "was a pack rat" who filled up his seven-acre North Hollywood compound with way too much stuff.

"He loved to collect things. Even when he wasn't conscious of collecting, people would give him things," she says.

Linda, 68, will try to clear away the clutter by putting 800 of her dad's objects on auction in mid-October in Los Angeles.

Viewers can participate in the auction through the Auction Network's TV channel or Online at

» READ MORE: www.juliensauctions.com

.

The sale, which will benefit various charities, will feature such unique items as a pair of red-and-white golf shoes marked "Made for Bob Hope;" a golf cap the size of a large pizza; and a desk plaque that reads: "Bob Hope. Thanks for the Memories."

Janet's tour is official

Janet Jackson

, 42, has finally announced she will tour North America for the first time in seven years, starting on Sept. 10 in Vancouver, British Columbia.

"I love all of that, all of that pressure, I really do," Jackson yesterday told the Associated Press about the pressures of touring.

She said she was ready to tour in '06 in support of her CD,

20 Y.O.

, but her record label asked her to wait till her latest disc,

Discipline

. For tour dates and tix, which go on sale June 7, visit

» READ MORE: www.livenation.com

.

A karmic love rectangle?

People mag reports that

Kate Hudson

, 29, is dating seven-time Tour de France winner

Lance Armstrong

- thus putting into effect a bizarre love rectangle:

See, Kate previously dated

Owen Wilson

. While Lance previously dated

Sheryl Crow

.

And prior to that (in the late '90s) Owen was romancing . . . Sheryl.

LiLo: Branding opportunity

Lindsay Lohan

, who at one time earned a living as an actress, has turned to making money by throwing a party. She's soliciting corporate sponsorship for her "Mo-Rockin' 22d Birthday" bash, which the party's Web site (

) describes as a "Moroccan themed party . . . at a five-bedroom Malibu mansion" with a hot tub.

"Sponsors will have a unique branding opportunity at an internationally media-worthy event [

huh?

]," says the site.

Wonder who'll get to display their logo on the champagne glasses? My money's on Lockheed Martin, though I hear Halliburton might stand a good chance.

It's over for Kiefer

Kiefer Sutherland

's uncontested divorce from

Elizabeth Kelly Winn Sutherland

was finalized on Friday, nine years after the couple first separated, says USAToday.com. Sutherland, 41, was previously married to

Camelia Kath

.

Celeb-thesps honor Rockwell

Public Theater board member

David Rockwell

will be honored at the star-studded 2008 Summer Gala June 17 at the Delacorte Theater in Central Park in New York. (It'll be on the opening night of the Shakespeare in the Park production of

Hamlet

.) Guests will include

Meryl Streep

,

Alec Baldwin

,

Glenn Close

,

Cynthia Nixon

,

Sam Rockwell

,

Kathleen Turner

,

Neil Patrick Harris

, and

S. Epatha Merkerson

.

Casting the MTV Movie Awards

New presenters have been announced for the MTV Movie Awards, which will be broadcast live from L.A. on June 1.

The show, which will be hosted by

Mike Myers

, will feature

Steve Carell

,

Jack Black

,

Lindsay Lohan

,

Robert Downey Jr

.,

Mark Wahlberg

,

Seth Rogen

,

Megan Fox

,

Anne Hathaway

,

James Franco

,

Rumer Willis

and

Brendan Fraser

.

Archaeology homework

Prepare for Thursday's opening of

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

with the DVD box set,

Indiana Jones: The Adventure Collection

from Paramount (

» READ MORE: www.paramount.com

; $59.98; PG), which contains new editions of

Steven Spielberg

's previous three Indy films.

Or plunge into an Indiana adventure sans

Harrison Ford

with the third and final volume of the amazing DVD set,

The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones

(

» READ MORE: www.youngindy.com

; $129.99; not rated). It stars

Sean Patrick Flanery

and features a large collection of documentaries about the historical events that Indy witnesses through his travels. More goodies at

.

Coda: On love & regret

"He was the one I should've married in the first place! So now I get my chance."

So says

WKRP in Cincinnati

survivor

Loni Anderson

to

Entertainment Tonight

about her wedding to her old flame

Bob Flick

on Saturday night in Lalaland.

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com.

This column contains information from Inquirer wire services and from Web sites.