Yesterday on Today, Sarah Palin told celebriologist Matt Lauer that David Letterman's sexual joke about her daughter this week was so beyond the pale, "I would like to see him to apologize to young women across the country."

D.L. on Tuesday said Gov. Palin's weekend visit to Yankee Stadium - she was with her 14-year-old daughter, Willow - was awkward because, "during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez." Gov. Palin said D.L. was endorsing the idea that it was "OK to talk about . . . statutory rape." She said she didn't buy D.L.'s contention that he was referring to her 18-year-old girl, Bristol Palin.

What's more, D.L. has been placed in the National Organization for Women's "Media Hall of Shame."

Madonna wins toddler

Malawi's Supreme Court said yesterday that Madonna, 50, could adopt 3-year-old Chifundo "Mercy" James, despite the impoverished nation's residency requirements. James Kambewa, who claims to be Mercy's da, even though he's never seen her, told CBS News: "I'm crying. I need my baby."

Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex . . .

A rep for Chastity "Chaz" Bono confirms that Sonny and Cher's child is undergoing a female-to-male sex change.

Reality flake Heidi Montag, 22, has finally taken advantage of the full range of her talents by posing for September's issue of Playboy.

Reese Witherspoon, one of the highest-paid actresses of all time, has developed her own fragrance, In Bloom, says Women's Wear Daily.

It smells like - $$$.

The Douglases ham it up

"I'm a little bit confused: I'm too young to have a son getting a lifetime achievement award." So said 92-year-old legend Kirk Douglas of his son, Michael, 64, who was presented Thursday with the 37th AFI Life Achievement Award.