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Ask Amy: Time to make a livelihood appear

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for three years. I'm 28, and he's 27. He wants to live in a fantasy world. He's a magician and has a stage name. He wants to change his actual name to his stage name.

Dear Amy:

My husband and I have been married for three years. I'm 28, and he's 27.

He wants to live in a fantasy world. He's a magician and has a stage name. He wants to change his actual name to his stage name.

He doesn't want kids (yet) because he wants to be a full-time magician before we have children.

For the last three years, I have helped run the business and made phone calls, sent e-mails, attended business meetings, helped with marketing. I even drive him to gigs. I've been very supportive of his choices.

I don't have a "real" job, and for that I am looked down upon by family and his friends.

Amy, before we married I told him that I'd definitely want kids before our third-year anniversary. Whenever I bring up the topic, he gets furious.

I'd love your opinion.

- Magician's Wife

Dear Wife: I don't know how viable the magic game is these days, but it sure would be nice if your husband could pull a salary and benefits out of his hat.

You should either get behind your husband's business with everything you've got or find gainful employment yourself because you are married to an entertainer with an active fantasy life in a shaky economy - and kids are expensive.

You and your husband should broach this topic again, preferably with a professional counselor who could help you find a way to discuss it without smoke and mirrors. A counselor might start by asking your husband why he gets "furious" when you bring up the topic of children. You should also be open to adjusting your strict timetable.