Sideshow: January's cover girls (and bad boys)

It's magazine-cover day! 'Rayyy! Today sees Whitney Houston on the cover of InStyle for January. She's looking good for 46 - or any other age - and has much to say about being mom to daughter Bobbi Kristina Houston-Brown, 16. "It's funny," says Whitney, "because her body is mine, her skin color is mine, but she says exactly what's on her mind, so she's like her father" - R&B artist Bobby Brown, from whom Houston was divorced in 2007 after a tumultuous 14-plus years of marriage. Whitney's body and Bobby's mouth . . . yikes. . . . Speaking of pretty on the cover, Jennifer Lopez, 40, graces the January issue of Allure. J-Lo says, "Part of my business is being in shape and looking good. You can't lie to yourself about it. But I'm not the monster I used to be in the exercise department." Her new album, Love, is out next month.

People's 25 Most Intriguing People of 2009 issue is out, and on that cover, who should it be but Li'l Miss Everyplace Taylor Swift? La Swift, 20, is on a roll, big album, big single, happy happy. She says that "you can stay the same person, even if everything around you changes." She adds: "I would like to think everybody out there isn't just waiting for me to trip and fall and stumble out of a club drunk." Who, us?

The People 25 is (1) what you'd expect (Barack and Michelle Obama; Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt; Oprah Winfrey); (2) a salute to the enduring popularity of reality TV (Kate Gosselin; Kim, Khloé, and Kourtney Kardashian; The Real Housewives: The Enemies Next Door); and (3) a reminder of crazy 2009 (pilot hero Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger; itinerant author Sarah Palin; conquering heroine Susan Boyle; grieving father John Travolta). It's also a bracing reminder of the blockheadedness of male human beings, with a list of "Men in the Doghouse": Chris Brown, David Letterman, Jon Gosselin, Kanye West and, of course, the envelope, please . . . Tiger Woods.

OK, you're begging, so here are the most recent Tiger Woods dishes: (1) His high school sweetie, Dina Parr, tells E! that back then, when Woods learned his father, Earl Woods, was having affairs, serial-cheating on Tiger's mom, Kultilda, the young Tiger was devastated. Many ironies there. (2) Tiger wife (but for how much longer?) Elin Nordegren is variously rumored to (a) be planning a definite divorce real soon; (b) be so outta there (out of the house, that is), with mom Barbro Holmberg and kids, daughter Sam, 2, and Charlie, 10 months, after celebrating the delightful, tinselly holidays at the happy Woods home; or (c) be jetting straight from Florida to Sweden now!, even though Tiger is said to be planning a "festive season" with the kids; and (d) (this from celeb site TMZ) be considering an endorsement deal with Puma, a rival of Nike, which has supported big-time endorser Woods for years. Oh, snap!

On Wednesday night's Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien, the hilarious Wanda Sykes said that so many women have come forward claiming Woods intimacy that "I had to stop for a minute and go, 'Wait a minute - did I have sex with Tiger Woods?"

Meantime, Jessica Simpson is raging mad at the Star. The tabloid said she flirted with Tiger on a golf course despite bf Tony Romo. She shot the Star a fulminant letter and tweeted: "can't believe that I'm on the cover of star magazine with Tiger Woods, what a JOKE! 'The Shocking Inside Story' is [insert drumroll] A LIE!"

The AP named Tiger Athlete of the Decade on Wednesday. Ironic. After all . . . it's not the end of the decade, people! It ends Dec. 31, 2010! I mean, someone could come along next year, couldn't they? . . . Whaddaya mean, no? . . .

We like Scarlett Johansson's answer when Time Out New York asked what she was doing for New Year's: "Probably not much. You know, pizza would be nice. A little champagne. Maybe watch the Twilight Zone marathon. That's always a favorite for me. . . . Going from one party to the next and surfing to find the right thing and being in a taxicab when the clock strikes - I'm so over that stuff. At the ripe old age of 25. I have the most fun when I'm surrounded by people I love in one place that's comfortable and we can hear each other. You can play card games, watch movies, I'm happy." This just in: Taylor Swift seen staggering out of Jay-Z's 40/40 Club . . . just kidding. She's in front of a roaring fire, playing Monopoly with Scarlett. . . .

In honor of Hanukkah, the Festival of Lights, which ends tonight, we present Complex.com's 15 Hottest Jewish Women (we'll append a list of guys afterward): Bar Rafaeli (1), Natalie Portman (2, duh), Mila Kunis (3), Scarlett Johansson (4? That low?), Moran Atias (5), Mélanie Laurent (6), Rashida Jones (7), Evan Rachel Wood (8), Emmanuelle Chriqui (9), Dianna Agron (10), Esti Ginzburg (11), Donna Feldman (12), Kat Dennings (13), Kate Hudson (14), and Michelle Trachtenberg (15). What, no Debra Messing? No Lauren Bacall? OK, here, in no order whatever, is a list of Jewish celebrity males "SideShow" has been told are what females say are "attractive": Former 76ers coach Larry Brown; Joaquín Phoenix; Zac Efron; Zach Braff; Paul Rudd; Sacha Baron Cohen; Adrien Brody; Daniel Radcliffe; former Phillies catcher Mike Lieberthal; Shia LaBeouf; Ryan Braun, the "Hebrew Hammer" of the Milwaukee Brewers; Jake Gyllenhaal; Harrison Ford; Michael Douglas; Sandy Koufax; and Michael Ian Black. We know there are complexities to these things, but . . . what, no Philly guy Larry Fine of The Three Stooges?