Q: I got dumped last week. This was a kiss-and-tell situation. I kissed. I told someone. At first, my girlfriend was cool with it and thanked me for my honesty. But after being close for months, she got very distant after we spent a weekend together. I accidentally pushed one of her issue buttons. The day she dumped me, I was contacted by two women. Since then, I have gone out with both and have plans to see both of them again. I would go back to the girl who dumped me if she'd have me. Have I acted too soon, or is this acceptable behavior?
Miss Kiss-and-Tell Girl is touchy. She leaves you no other choice. You're doing the right thing by keeping it moving, as they say.
Steve: Kissing and telling is bad form, but what's done is done, and it sounds like you're done, as far as she's concerned. Lucky for you, you have some backup girlfriends. Stick with the backups and see if one of them emerges as a main squeeze.
Q: I am a 50-year-old male who still loves his junior high school sweetheart. She married someone else, but we have kept in contact off and on; at times I've been her lover. Two years ago, she got divorced. I thought this was our chance to be together. We began seeing each other, but she seemed to be holding back. Then she told me that she's not the person that I used to know. I felt we didn't have a true relationship because there were times when she just wasn't around. Eventually, I began a friendship with a new woman. But my sweetheart wanted me back, so now I am seeing both. My sweetheart gives me what I need in the bedroom. My new friend gives me what I want outside the bedroom. I am ashamed. My heart is still for my ex-sweetheart, while my head says that I should be with the new woman - a good woman who is relationship-oriented like me. Mia, go easy on me. I didn't plan it to happen this way. Who she was in junior high is not who she was in her 20s or 40s or now. You need to throw out the past and analyze these two women for the people they are today. By the way, it's my experience that in arguments between head and heart, the head is usually right. That's because the heart doesn't have a brain.
Mia: Why not just give both relationships some time? Don't pull a Tiger Woods, though. Be honest. Let the women know you're still figuring things out. Eventually, your heart will lead you in the right direction.