'This is the greatest conversation I've ever had," Conan O'Brien exclaimed this week as he interviewed Mike Sorrentino, the meathead better know as The Situation from

Jersey Shore

.

Sorrentino was on with Nicole (Snooki) Polizzi to talk about their MTV reality show, which for some inexplicable reason has a choke hold on the nation's attention.

They went from The Tonight Show to Jimmy Kimmel Live, where, joined by housemate Paul DelVecchio (DJ Pauly D), they performed in a Christmas pageant as the Three Wise Men. Talk about casting against type.

The trio also turned up on The Jay Leno Show in a Celebrity Jaywalking segment during which they were stumped trying to identify Joe Biden, Richard Nixon, Moammar Gadhafi, Thomas Edison, and, perhaps the most famous Italian ever to emerge from Jersey, Frank Sinatra.

Italian American groups have been protesting that the Jersey Shore half-wits, who refer to themselves as Guidos and Guidettes, are a blot on their ethnic heritage.

Are you kidding? This gang of knuckleheads and bimbos is giving all of mankind a bad name.

Maybe that's why Conan was acting so enthralled. "I think you're a genius," he told The Situation. "I think that's the greatest nickname I've ever heard."

Snooki may have let a grooming secret out of the bag during the same interview.

When Conan asked her what her dream guy would be like, she said, "He'd have to be a juicehead," miming injecting her arm. These musclebound morons are taking steroids just to preen on the Boardwalk? That's insane.

Called upon to share their ultimate goal in life, both The Situation and Snooki said they'd like to have their own reality show someday.

Dream big, kids.

Pay load. NBC is bragging that it has secured its heftiest contestant ever for the next installment of The Biggest Loser, which begins in three weeks.

Michael Ventrella weighs in at 526 pounds.

Out in the Barbie Doll Land that is Los Angeles, that might be considered obese, but in the rest of this great big country, Ventrella is what we usually refer to as big-boned.

Not so subliminal. Still looking for gift ideas?

Nielsen this week ranked TV shows for the greatest use of that sneaky form of advertising: product placement.

Topping the list was The Jay Leno Show, which trumped its nearest competitor, WWE Monday Night Raw, by a whopping 22 percent.

So at least Jay is leading broadcasting in one category. Watch out, QVC!

Better luck next year. Have you seen the new ad campaign for DirecTV that uses as its spokesman Christina Aguilera? Ooh, how 2002!

In one spot, Aguilera coos, "So yeah, I'm out to save the world - from cable."

Considering that Comcast is gobbling up most of the entertainment industry, you're not doing a very good job there, Christina.

Coming attraction. It's just a matter of time until some enterprising producer announces the newest reality show: Tiger's Girls.

Contact staff writer David Hiltbrand at 215-854-4552 or dhiltbrand@phillynews.com. Read his recent work at http:// go.philly.com/daveondemand.