You would think that Mo'Nique, triple-threat entertainer that she is, would get enormous fulfillment out of hosting a late-night talk show on BET, or nailing the role that won her an Academy Award, or empowering full-figured women by producing FAT (fabulous and thick) reality-TV shows, or even being the mother of 4-year-old twin boys at age 42.
What really makes Mo'Nique happy - besides polishing off a cupcake every now and then - is cursing.
"Deliver yourself!" the actress and comedian told her adoring audience during her "Spread the Love" comedy tour at the Liacouras Center on Friday night. "Cussing ain't new. People had to be cussers to get things done. . . . I bet Harriet Tubman was a cusser."
It didn't seem much of a stretch for Mo'Nique, who won an Academy Award, a Golden Globe, and a Screen Actors Guild Award for her role as the invective-spitting, abusive mother in Precious.
"B-, I feel amazing," she proclaimed on the 19th stop of her 20-city tour, admitting, "I smoked a blunt, and I am flying."
She looked pretty amazing, too.
After her BET cohost, Rodney Perry, and comedian Tone-X hyped up the crowd, Mo'Nique took the stage wearing a clingy, draped, turquoise dress that showcased her newly toned, 220-pound figure (down from 262; her goal is a tight 200). She delivered a funny, profanity-filled, hour-long set, touching on parenthood, sexual acrobatics, her potty mouth at age 7, and her visit to the White House, where, after thinking she had come to an I-got-your-back agreement with Michelle Obama, she proceeded to curse out Queen Elizabeth.
The Obama bit was embellished for maximum punch-line effect. But with Mo'Nique, you're never quite sure.
Not that it mattered to her fans. Mo'Nique's overwhelmingly African American base has been with her since she broke out on HBO's Def Comedy Jam. They supported her steady rise: hosting Showtime at the Apollo and scoring her own sitcom, The Parkers, which ran for five seasons.
They even stuck with her when she headlined the "Queens of Comedy" tour in 2000, doing raunchy stand-up full of unfunny sexual material that disrespected women more than it empowered them.
Now, after making it big in Hollywood, Mo'Nique has come home as the conquering hero, her act just as raw but a bit more discerning.
To paraphrase the star: Baby, you can take the chick out of Baltimore, but you can't take Baltimore out of the chick.
Only Mo'Nique wouldn't say "chick."