It's like that asteroid hurtling right at us. Can't get out of the way. Of Hangover 2, we mean. The film touched down Thursday and blew the roof off the world, according to distributor estimates.

Opening night, it made $31.6 million (a record for a comedy), $30 mil on Friday and $29.7 mil on Saturday, beating the three-day comedy record of Bruce Almighty on Memorial Day weekend in 2003. At $118 mil as of Sunday, it could top $140 mil by Monday COB. The R-rater record is Matrix: Reloaded, which in 2003 made $144 mil its first five days.

Warner Bros. gotta be happy. It has smokin'-hot Hangover 2 and the Jack Black/Angelina Jolie Kung Fu Panda 2, at No. 2 with a predicted $53.8 mil for its holiday weekend premiere. Johnny Depp's Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, is set to make $39.3 mil in its second weekend, and Kristen Wiig's Bridesmaids will fetch $16.4 mil.

Will Pippa palaver?

The National Enquirer (with an E, not an I, people) is saying TV goddesses Barbara Walters and Oprah Winfrey are talkin' up Pippa Middleton for daytime talk TV. Maybe on The View, or on Oprah's struggling OWN? Pippa is sister to (and show-stealer from) Kate, who just married Prince William, like, 350 years ago now. We've never heard Pippa talk. But we could turn off the sound and just watch. Easily.

Short ribs for the grill

Randy Jackson says he and Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler will return to American Idol next season. Oh, great. . . . Gil Scott-Heron was a troubled, sui generis originator whose tracks still speak to this very moment. May he rap in peace. . . . Brad Pitt says the six kids he manages with Angelina Jolie are bugging 'em about getting married already: "The kids ask about marriage. It's meaning more and more to them. So it's something we've got to look at." . . . Dallas celeb QB Tony Romo has thrown his last pass for a while - of the amorous type, we mean (and hope). The footballer, who once dated Jessica Simpson, Carrie Underwood, and Sophia Bush (at separate times), wed sweetiepoo Christine Crawford on Saturday in Dallas. . . . Ain't family wonderful? After all this about Kim Kardashian getting engaged to basketballer Kris Humphries, her party-poop bro, Robert, says he doubts they'll marry. "She's just been through a lot of relationships," he says. So we hear. . . . Orlando Bloom has signed up to play Legolas in The Hobbit, the troubled two-part epic Peter Jackson's trying to make in New Zealand. Weird. Legolas isn't in the actual novel. But hey, it's movies. . . . Niecy Nash (Clean House) got married Saturday in Malibu to Jay Tucker. . . . What do Jesse Ventura, Jimi Hendrix, Hugh Hefner, Clark Gable, Jimmy Stewart, Robin Quivers, Darva Conger, Henry Fonda, Fred Durst, Alan Alda, and Chuck Norris have in common? They're just some of the many celebs who served in the armed forces.