Q: This is a non-romance relationship question, but I hope you can answer it anyway. I work in a small office with 10 employees. We are always busy, but our direct supervisor spends most of his day disrupting the workplace by flirting with the young female employees and telling stories about his past jobs. I don't want to be rude to him, but he wastes a lot of my time and I get behind in my work. If I tell the big boss, I'm afraid he'll do nothing and my supervisor will make my life miserable. Don't tell me to find another job. Where I live, that's nearly impossible.
Steve: As Jean-Paul Sartre has observed, only the guy who isn't rowing has time to rock the boat. You'll have to trust the "big boss" on this one. Most bosses will try to remedy situations that undermine productivity.
Mia: Why not fly direct? Otherwise, you might seem like a total tattle. When he's disrupting your flow, politely tell him that you're really busy and it'd be great if he could keep it down. There are few better ways to effect change than abject humiliation.
Q: I have a guy friend and we're thinking about having sex. But I want to know how he feels about me. And I don't know how to go about asking him. Do I have a right to know how he feels about me? And how should I ask him?
Steve: I'll take a wild guess here and assume the reason you want to ask that question is to make sure he genuinely cares for you and isn't just trying to seduce you. The problem is that — if he is like most men — he will give you an answer designed to seduce you. So you're back where you started. You're gonna have to use your own judgment on this one.
Mia: Cosign, Steve. Sounds like dude will say anything to get in your pants. And if you want to know how he feels because you have ooey-gooey feelings for him, run away from this friends-with-benefits situation ASAP. n
Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a single, 20-something woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. Email S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M, c/o Daily News, 400 N. Broad St., Philadelphia, PA 19130.