Q: I am a 22-year-old college graduate with big dreams. My only problem is this love triangle I have put myself in for the past five years. At the age of 15 I met this young girl who was clean, smart, beyond beautiful, trustworthy – and to top it off, I was her first sex partner. We spent a lot of time together during my teenage years and I started to get bored with her. I put her through a lot of hurt and BS, but she still stood by my side. At age 17, I met another very pretty girl. She was fun and very sexual. The difference was she wasn't trustworthy and she lies a lot. I went off to college and Girl No. 2 followed behind me. Girl No. 2 and I started to fall apart because of the lack of trust. Once I graduated, I got involved again with Girl No. 1. I still have relations with both of them but I have dreams I want to pursue—and juggling two women is a fulltime job. It's just hard to decide because Girl No. 1 has great qualities, but Girl No. 2 is a big freak, although a liar. I just want to choose one, give her my all and move forward in life.
Steve: Tough choice. On the one hand you have this sweet, devoted woman who stood by you when things were bad and you were mean. On the other hand, you have this untrustworthy, lying bitch. I'd go with No. 1. Make sure you stick to your plan to give her your all and be as loyal and loving to her as she has been to you. That's the difference between a man and a boy.
Mia: Drop both. You need to start afresh without the baggage, most of which you brought on yourself by stepping out on Girl No. 1, whom you clearly have reservations about or your choice would be easy. One day, you'll find Girl No. 3 (or No. 4 or No. 5…), who is a sweetheart most of the time and a freak in the bedroom. But no more stepping out on the ladies, or you (deservedly) won't have any to choose from at all.
Q: About 10 years ago, my wife and I had a really bad argument and she threw a cup at me. We have a great relationship and rarely argue, so I'd completely forgotten about it. But recently something happened to remind my wife of the argument. When I told her I had no memory of it, she got really mad and told me that I didn't take her issues seriously and that it was an important event and I should've remembered it. What can I do to get back on her good side?
Steve: Whoa, I hope you never forget her birthday. Next year, on the anniversary of your big fight, buy her a cup.
Mia: You've found your wife's sour spot. It could be the issue you were fighting about or that she lost her cool and was embarrassed by it so she's just perpetuating the problem by making your fight a bigger deal than it was, especially if you've got a good thing going (uh, been there). Think about the issue you fought about, ask her about it (sensitively!) and learn from it. Try not to press that sour spot too hard next time or you'll have to buy a whole new set of cups. n
Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a single, 20-something woman with an altogether different attitude. Email S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M, c/o Daily News, 400 N. Broad St., Philadelphia, PA 19130.