Q: I am an attorney. Several years ago I had a case in which my "adversary" was a nice, very attractive woman. In 2009, I friended her on Facebook. In 2010, she updated her Facebook profile to indicate she was in a relationship.
But she has not posted any new photos of herself with her boyfriend in more than a year. She has also not made any mention of him at all on Facebook. For a couple of weeks recently, her relationship status disappeared. Then it was updated to indicate she is in a relationship — but no new pictures.
At present I have several cases with her and we have spoken on the phone a couple of times. Although we only talk business, from my perspective we get along well.
I would like to ask her out, but there is a twofold problem.
The first is whether she is in a relationship. And the second is that if she doesn't want to go out with me, it could make for a very uncomfortable situation going forward professionally.
How can I ask her out, or even speak with her in a nonbusiness setting to see if she has any interest?
Steve: The ask-out part is easy; the legal issues are not. Case law and ethics require you to disclose to your client and the court any relationship you might have with opposing counsel. Might be best to avoid that mess until all your cases with her are completed. Then, simply ask her out for coffee and find out her relationship status. If she's interested in you, she'll let you know.
Mia: Steve's right. Don't make a move until your legal dealings are finished. Until then, lay off the Facebook stalking, or you'll end up at the top of her friends list, which is a big giveaway that you've been creeping on her page.
Q: I've been dating a really hot woman with a banging body and a gorgeous face.
The only problem is her hair. It looks great, but I recently discovered that she wears hair extensions. She leaves really long strands of hair everywhere — in my car, in my bathroom, in my bed, even wrapped around my private parts. I think she would look really nice with an Afro. Should I ask her to go natural?
Mia: Only if you don't mind getting cussed out. No self-respecting woman would change her hair just to make a guy she's dating happy.
If you want to keep this woman in your life and keep your home tidy, invest in a good vacuum cleaner.
Steve: Unless you're coughing up furballs, I don't see the problem.