J-Law kills early and often

The New York Film Critics Circle Awards, among the earliest of the big filmic prize season, came out Tuesday. Jennifer Lawrence, natch, won for best supporting actress in American Hustle, her flick with Bradley Cooper. Shape of things to come? And guess what - Hustle won best picture! Other winners: Cate Blanchett for best actress in Woody Allen's Blue Jasmine; Robert Redford for best actor in All Is Lost; Jared Leto for best supporting actor in Dallas Buyers Club; Fruitvale Station as best first film; and the controversial Blue Is the Warmest Color for best foreign film.

LiLo sues everybody

If you can't cause trouble for yourself, cause it for others. Lindsay Lohan, that calm, pacific lady, is said to be suing Rockstar Games, makers of Grand Theft Auto V, for using her likeness in GTA V, which moved $1 billion worth its first three days out in September, and probably more since then. I mean, yeah, there's a bikini'd sweetie (who does not resemble LiLo) taking a selfie on a beach, and LiLo did that, but . . . it's a stretch, yo. In the game itself, a celebri-lady ducks paparazzi and does a sex vid at a hotel that looks like LiLo's fave L.A. hangout, the Chateau Marmont. But really . . . ? Her defamation suit against Pitbull got thrown out in February. Give it up, maybe?

Bouncy Pope Pancho!!!

It's great to have a celebrity pope again! Pope Francis has revealed he used to work, a long time ago, as a bouncer in a club in Buenos Aires. This is a seriously cool pontiff, OK? Twitterland was all atweet on Tuesday about the papal coolness. Actor/director Jon Favreau imagined a movie about the pope's career as a bouncer: "Heaven Can Wait, and So Can You." New York Times guy Charles Blow tweeted: "The Pope comes out with something cooler every week. . . If he releases a mix tape it will be all over."

A Warhol portrait of Kim K!

Kanye West has commissioned a Warhol portrait of his baby mama, Kim Kardashian. How, you ask, since Andy Warhol stepped across in 1987? He's having it done by Andy's cousin Monica Warhol, a painter who lives in Arizona. It's bound to be big and splash-ay! She's done portraits of such luminaries as Lenny Kravitz and Flo Rida.

Speaking, as we were . . .

. . . of Andy Warhol, the real Andy did do two 1980 portraits of Farrah Fawcett, the hottest thing this side of Venus back then. Ryan O'Neal, who had an oft-troubled union with Fawcett, culminating (he says) with her deathbed acceptance of his proposal (but they never married), secured one of the portraits for himself, removing one from her house after her death in 2009. Some are calling this theft. Like the University of Texas at Austin, who says she left both paintings to them (she went there in the 1960s) in her will. They're suing Ryan, who told a court on Monday, "The painting is mine." It hangs over his bed in Malibu.

Smallish, fluffy tininesses

The relentless Kirstie Alley, promoting her TV Land sitcom Kirstie, is doing the rounds, quite a bit slimmer. She went on ABC's Good Morning America to show the world. Kirstie costars Michael Richards (Seinfeld) and Rhea Perlman (her former bud at Cheers). . . . Roberto Zincone is reportedly filing for divorce from Malin Akerman, says Us Weekly. . . . Christopher Walken, one of the most recognizable stars in the world, was trying to hail a cab in NYC, and failing. And he's hardly the first!!! Two fans spotted him, pulled over, and gave him a lift. . . . Didn't Dave Matthews hitch a ride to a gig in Hershey last summer? . . . As we know, ex-reality lady Heidi Montag had surgery to acquire enormous accoutrements, then had surgery to downsize 'em. She just did a little bikini shoot for Us Weekly to show the world. And they are about as small as Delaware. Each. "I felt inappropriate," she explains. Her and husband Spencer's new show, After Shock: Heidi & Spencer, debuts on E! next Monday. . . . Speaking of bodies, Kim Zolciak, formerly of Real Housewives of Atlanta, was seen four days after giving birth to twins Kane Ren and Kaia Rose, pramming them about with hub Kroy Biermann. Six kids now, and she looks pretty great.