Sideshow: 'The Interview" opens, money flows to Sony

Sure, it probably would have made $25 mil had we not been all 9/11-threatened by who-knows-who, but Sony Pictures is grateful The Interview brought in $1 million in ticket sales on Christmas Day.

The limited release in 331 theaters got a "fantastic" audience reaction, said Rory Bruer, Sony's president of worldwide distribution.

The film, controversial because it depicts a fictional assassination attempt against North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, was also made available through on-demand platforms - YouTube Movies, Google Play, Xbox Video, and its own site www.seetheinterview.com - starting Christmas Eve. Sales figures for the on-demand market were not available.

You'd think they would be capable of anything, but superpowers Kanye and Kim can't seem to procreate again, complains Kim. For nine months, Mr. and Mrs. West have tried, been to fertility docs together, but fruitlessly, says TMZ. Apparently North was a miracle baby, which makes sense, since her parents are supernatural.

Dustin Diamond, a.k.a. Screech from Saved by the Bell fame, was arrested on charges he stabbed a man with a switchblade on Christmas Eve (talk about a special episode). Police say the victim suffered a half-inch wound under his armpit that bled heavily, but was not life-threatening. Screech says he was defending himself and his fiancee, who were attacked at a bar. Still . . . detention-worthy!

Justin Bieber posted on the Shots app a photo of his own self on a jet with the caption, "New jet for Christmas, and she's beautiful." The pics show eight white leather seats, a large couch and a lounge. Don't be jealous - just peruse your collection of fab gift cards.

People mag confirms Sarah Jessica Parker is returning to HBO - not as Carrie, but as a . . . wife getting a divorce? Frankly, we'll settle for anything.