THAT

BRITNEY SPEARS

' mother,

Lynne

, was going to write a parenting book when she obviously has never read one was scary enough - "Let's see,

Dr. Spock

or Lynne Spears, what's a mother to do?" - so we're relieved to report that publisher Thomas Nelson Inc. has put the tell-all on hold following word that Brit's kid sis, 16-year-old

Jamie Lynn Spears

is pregnant.

Lindsey Nobles, a spokeswoman for Thomas Nelson, which specializes in Christian books, said yesterday, "We are standing behind Lynne and supporting her decision to be with her family at this time."

Huh? What does that even mean? She was with her family! Jamie Lynn got pregnant living under Lynne's roof.

* Meanwhile, Life & Style Weekly reports that Jamie Lynn and Casey Aldridge, the egg fertilizer, are no longer seeing each other.

That didn't take long.

"Jamie Lynn and Casey are not together," said an L&S inside source. "They've broken up numerous times, but he was her first and she kept taking him back.

"They're not dating now. He's really got nothing to offer this baby. He's a kid himself. They have no plans to get married."

And we were so confident a baby would bring the pair closer together.

* If you were wondering how much Jamie Lynn got paid by OK! magazine for the pregnancy exclusive, the answer is nothing.

Sort of.

TMZ.com reports the money (said to be $1 million) will be forked over to Jamie Lynn for the photo exclusive only after the baby is born.

Spears family sources tell TMZ.com that OK! got the jump on the story because Lynne appreciated the way the mag handled Britney's photo shoot meltdown a few months back.

"She trusted them to do it in a way that would be sympathetic to her daughter," the source said.

TMZ.com also reprts that Jamie Lynn is more than 12 weeks pregnant, as the article states.

Guess Jamie Lynn could have a new date in time for the prom.

* With Spears non-news coming out of the woodwork like termites, In Touch reports that if Britney is looking for a stable man who's good with children, she need look no further than Larry Birkhead, not heard from since the days of Anna Nicole Smith gossip.

"Larry has a thing for vulnerable blondes, an "insider" says, "and no one seems more vulnerable than Britney these days. He's trying hard to get fixed up with Britney."

Even better, says the pal, "Larry wants to find someone who already has kids so they can raise their families together, just like the Brady Bunch."

Here's the story/of a messed up pop tart/Who was barred from raising either of her boys . . .

* Should Larry and Britney hook up (uh-oh, she's pregnant again), it won't be at the Beverly Hills Four Seasons.

According to TMZ.com, the hotel, tired of the ever-present paparazzi and Brit's erratic behavior, has asked the "Toxic" singer not to return.

Besides, wouldn't she really feel more at home sleeping in some car on blocks behind one of those by-the-hour joints on Admiral Wilson Blvd.

Silly Lily

* Here are some quotes from the

Harper's Bazaar interview with chanteuse du jour Lily Allen:

On smoking:

"I love smoking . . . I don't really want to say it, but I do."

On unveiling a new look with her new body:

"I did buy an Yves Saint Laurent catsuit the other day. I never though I'd wear anything like that."

On her relationship with boyfriend, Ed Simons, of the Chemical Brothers, and whether it has helped melt away the pounds:

"I'm certainly getting more exercise in the bedroom . . . So yeah."

On getting married:

"I've looked forward to . . . having kids and getting married and cooking dinner and doing homework with my children."

What timing.

Lily's spokesman said yesterday that the 22-year-old British pop singer and Simons are expecting their first child.

Probably should give up the smoking . . . and put away the catsuit.

R. Kelly bus-ted

R. Kelly, still facing child pornogra-

phy charges in Chicago, missed a hearing there yesterday after his tour bus was stopped by Utah State Police, said Kelly's attorney, Ed Genson.

Cook County prosecutors asked Judge Vincent Gaughan to issue a warrant for Kelly's arrest, saying the court had been generous in allowing him to embark on his tour.

Genson told the judge his client tried his best to make it on time, but first snow, then Utah authorities, delayed the tour bus.

Gosh, if only they had big metal machines that flew through the air. So R. Kelly can't fly.

Utah police sources told TMZ.com that Kelly's four tour buses were stopped for exceeding 100 mph. After they were stopped, police noticed the drivers seemed "tired" and had no log books on board.

The buses were ordered off the road for eight hours to give the drivers some rest.

Tattbits

* Denzel Washington is donating

$1 million to Wiley College, in Marshall, Texas, to re-establish its debate team. Wiley's 1930s debate team is the subject of Denzel's new film, "The Great Debaters," opening Christmas Day.

Sometimes a movie promo is a dopey gift bag, sometimes not.

* Trying to get into the holiday spirit, Tattle has caught some of NBC's "Clash of the Choirs" and not just to watch host/babe Maria Menounos ad-lib filler.

That said, Patti LaBelle's Philadelphia choir has been the best by a Broad Street mile.

From song choices to vocal power to complex harmonies, Team LaBelle has been a knockout.

The winner will be announced tonight. *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Send e-mail to gensleh@phillynews.com