Jenice Armstrong: Heels hit dizzy height

NOT GONNA do it.

Nope.

You'll never catch me in those ultra-high, extreme heels. You know, those 6- and 7-inch high-heeled shoes that are - excuse the pun - the height of fashion.

If heels keep getting higher, women will need a step stool to get dressed.

I first noticed this altitude-altering trend earlier this year when one of the New York papers ran a photo of actress Gwyneth Paltrow wearing a ridiculously high - possibly 7 inches - pair.

Recently, Victoria Beckham was photographed in a scarily high pair while shopping with her kids at a Build-A-Bear store, of all places. They looked downright painful.

On Saturday, Patti LaBelle performed in what appeared to be a 6-inch pair of Christian Louboutin's at Sheryl Lee Ralph's annual Divas Simply Singing AIDs fundraiser.

"She wore them, kicked them off and then put them back on and walked around in them just like she was barefoot," said Anthony Henderson, a celebrity-fashion stylist who divides his time between Philly and Los Angeles.

Now, I'd be lying if I said I didn't admire the ability of celebrities to balance on spiky heels the width of an ink pen and look sexy doing it. They deserve mad props for that.

But this particular fashion trend needs to stay on runways and red carpets where it belongs. This is not - I repeat - not for regular folks.

Sure, super-high heels elongate your legs. But imagine trying to negotiate SEPTA in a pair. They are practically prescriptions for a visit to the podiatrist.

But maybe I'm just hating.

At 6 feet 2, I'm more than tall enough as it is. And I've passed the stage where I cripple myself for fashion's sake. Used to do it.

But I've sworn off limping around a cocktail party trying to look cute. Besides, I can dance all night in my strappy, ankle-wrap sandals with the 2-inch heels.

Hey, even my shorter girlfriends can't do the super-high-heel thing. "I can barely walk in 2- or 3-inch heels," my most fashion-forward friend complained yesterday.

Unfortunately, the fashion tide may be against us. An article in yesterday's Wall Street Journal pointed out: "But instead of rejecting the extreme heels, many women can't seem to get enough of them."

Louboutin, for example, has had such success with his 6- and 7-inch stilettos that he plans to introduce 8-inch heels next year.

"I hear they can be painful," the designer told the pape, "but women keep asking for them."

Courtney Wilson, who manages Stiletto on Rittenhouse Square, said the same thing.

"The customers that shop here want them as high as they can get," said Wilson, who wears 6-inch heels every day. "The higher, the better they sell."

You know why that is.

Sex.

Some guys think nothing signals sexuality more than a well-toned calf atop a spiky heel.

"Oh, I love them," one male friend said yesterday.

When I pointed out how impractical they are for getting around, he shot back, "What's more important, Jenice, walking or sex?"

Sigh.

Twisted ankles be damned. They're going to sell like hotcakes. *

Have you spotted news or a hot trend that hasn't been reported? E-mail heyjen@phillynews.com and let me know what you know. To discuss this column and to also see what else we're talking about, log onto my blog at http:// go.philly.com/heyjen.