TYPICAL TATTLE celebrities were so well-behaved this pre-Christmas weekend, we had to travel across the Atlantic to find a little scandal.
So from France, where the first lady is a folk-singing former model with the type of photo portfolio that got Vanessa Williams kicked out of Miss America, we bring you the story of Liliane Bettencourt.
Never heard of Liliane? She's heiress to the L'Oreal cosmetics empire.
Why? Because she's worth it.
Boy, is she worth it!
Liliane is the richest woman in France, so rich that her daughter, Francoise Bettencourt-Meyers, is squabbling with her over some money she gave away.
One billion dollars.
According to the Agence France-Presse, Francoise claims that 86-year-old Liliane has been charmed out of her Euros by jet-set photographer Francois-Marie Banier, 61, whom Francoise is suing.
Francoise says her mom must be losing it a little to so easily part with so much money.
According to letters published by Le Monde, however, Liliane insists she's still sharp as a tack and is threatening Francoise - through the paper, the two have no contact - with slashing her share of of her inheritance.
See, even with a billion gone, there still seems to be $22 billion more left.
Told you she was worth it.
The Le Monde report, however, is at odds with an interview with the Journal du Dimanche in which Liliane insisted that she still has tons of dough and that Francoise "will get everything when I die," she said. "What on earth has got into her?"
"What I gave to Francois-Marie Banier, although it is a large sum, is really not that much when put in proportion."
Liliane acknowledged that Francois (not to be confused with Francoise) had an "interest" in their friendship, but scoffed at the idea that he's a dirty rotten scoundrel.
"Do you think I can be brought under someone's thumb so easily?" she asked.
Not at all, madame. But we would like to say that you are looking very beautiful today.
Would it please you if L'Oreal became the official scent of Tattle for, say, $50 million?
Too much? Even when you say "No" your voice is like that of an angel.
And your figure? It would make a woman half your age turn heads on the Riviera.
OK. OK. $5 million.
Reuters reports that Ibrahim al-Ghaith, the head of Saudi Arabia's religious police, has become a flip-flopper. He's now OK with movies making a return to the conservative Muslim country as long as they comply with Islam.
"Passion of the Christ"? Out.
Anything with Jenna Jameson? Out.
Woody Allen? Out.
In case you were wondering, as we were, what Ghaith's religious police did, they have the power to search for alcohol and drugs. They can stop prostitution. They can make sure stores are closed during prayer. And they can enforce Saudi society's sexual segregation.
Those dudes are busy.
They need to relax at a movie every once in awhile.
* E! Online reports that 45-year-old lip-plumper Lisa Rinna is apparently planning to pose nude again for Playboy. (Her last shoot was when she was pregnant 10 years ago.)
"I'm the worst liar on the planet; I can't lie, so . . . I think that could be a yes," she told "Extra."
* Ron "The Hedgehog" Jeremy and a few of his pals were splashed with pepper spray early yesterday morning, TMZ.com reports.
It happened at Mel's Diner on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles.
Ron and his group were enjoying a 3:30 a.m. snack when paparazzo Nasim Saleh got in their face, begging the question of how much Ron Jeremy pics go for these days - admittedly, the ones in which he's clothed are more valuable.
When someone at the table objected to Saleh's snapping, he pepper-sprayed the guy and the table.
Would you like some salt-and-pepper spray with those eggs?
Saleh was arrested for criminal use of tear gas, a felony.
The best part, however, according to TMZ.com, is that through it all, Jeremy just kept eating.
* And speaking of eating, Pete Czerwinski, a 23-year-old mechanical engineering student from Toronto, downed 46 potato latkes (pancakes) in eight minutes to win an eating contest at Zan's Deli in Long Island.
The previous record was 31 latkes, set in 2006.
Latkes are a traditional treat for Hanukkah, the eight-day Jewish Festival of Lights, which started last night.
The amazing thing about Czerwin-ski's Latkepalooza? He had never eaten one before yesterday.
Yesterday, he chowed down seven pounds of them.
Happy Hanukkah. *
Daily News wire services contributed to this report.