BRITAIN'S umpteenth royal wedding is still four months away, but the first official memorabilia goes on sale today - no, the Will & Kate T-shirts being sold on Market Street are not official.

What is official is a range of wedding china personally approved by Prince William and Kate Middleton.

(If anyone is interested, Tattle's parents are also looking to sell their wedding china.)

William's office said the items had been commissioned by the palace department responsible for the royal family's art collection and are made in Stoke-on-Trent in central England, a traditional center for British ceramics.

The three souvenirs - a tankard, plate and pill box - each feature the couple's entwined initials, the prince's coronet emblem and the date of the wedding - April 29, 2011.

Profits from the collectibles will be donated to the charity that curates the royal family's artworks, known as the Royal Collection.

Something called the Royal Collection doesn't sound much like a charity.

Island girl

After vacationing with members of her studio audience in Australia, Oprah Winfrey needed one thing - a vacation.

So the talk-show queen is heading to Fiji.

Maybe she's looking for real estate.

Or a coup.

Fiji was taken over by the military in 2006.

Fiji's tourism minister said that Oprah was spending the Christmas holiday on the Pacific island and that officials wanted to respect her privacy. Local media reported that she and longtime beau Stedman Graham were to stay until Dec. 26.

"We know she is here for a holiday and respect that, and the government obviously wants Winfrey to have a great time," Aiyaz Sayed-Khaiyum, the tourism minister, said Saturday.

The U.S. State Department has warned Americans to carefully consider the risks of travel to Fiji and to be vigilant while there. During a visit to Australia last month, Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton called for democracy to be restored in Fiji and for political freedoms to advance.

"Fiji is one of those destinations where we like people to come and have their own private time, and

we're here to ensure that happens," Sayed-Khaiyum said. "We don't want Fiji to become a playground for the paparazzi."

Ah, the beauty of a military dictatorship.

Tattbits

* In October, Lady Gaga's concerts in Paris were postponed amid strikes over a government plan to raise the retirement age.

One of the shows, rescheduled for yesterday, was called off again - this time because of snow.

Concert venue Bercy stadium said on its website that Gaga's trucks couldn't get to the venue on time.

Bercy says tonight's concert is expected to go forward as planned, and yesterday's is likely to be rescheduled for tomorrow.

* There's a new Little Rascal.

Rascal Flatts bassist Jay DeMarcus and his wife, Allison, have had their first child.

Madeline Leigh DeMarcus was born Friday in Nashville. She weighed 6 pounds 9 ounces.

Daddy says she's gorgeous and looks just like . . . him. Him?

* A grand jury in Ocean County says there's evidence that Ronald "Ronnie" Ortiz-Magro of "Jersey Shore" committed assault during the show's first season, and he's been indicted.

The grand jury said Ronnie knocked a man out with a punch on Sept. 4, 2009, when the show was being filmed in Seaside Heights. Although the punch wasn't shown on the show, Ronnie was seen bragging about it.

MTV publicists did not immediately respond to requests for comment Saturday but thought, "Here we go again."

* Jack Jordan, a former psychiatric patient convicted of stalking Uma Thurman, was jailed Friday after he was charged with again trying to call the "Kill Bill" star.

Jordan was arraigned on charges of stalking and criminal contempt for violating a restraining order. He pleaded not guilty in front of the same judge who warned him he would go to jail if he tried to contact Uma after his 2008 conviction.

Jordan told prosecutors that (this time) the calls were a drunken mistake.

* Producers have once again delayed the opening of the Broadway musical "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark," pushing it from Jan. 11 to Feb. 7.

"Due to some unforeseeable setbacks, most notably the injury of a principal cast member, it has become clear that we need to give the team more time to fully execute their vision," lead producer Michael Cohl said in a statement. "I have no intention of cutting a single corner in getting to the finish line."

* Paul McCartney played his smallest gig in more than a decade Friday in a bid to save a London club faced with closure because of a steep rent increase.

Sir Paul played a lunchtime show before about 300 fans at the 100 Club in central London. It marked the first time McCartney had played the 100 Club, which once hosted the Rolling Stones, the Who, Metallica and others, including American jazz great Louis Armstrong.

Tickets were $90. Fans started lining up hours before the show in hopes of getting a seat.

"It's a great little venue, so we were happy to be part of the campaign to save it. It's too good to lose," McCartney said after the concert. "We had a great time. It's great playing those little clubs and the audience is so up close - it's like you're having dinner with them."

Next time Tattle's landlord raises our rent, expect a call, Paul.

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.