YESTERDAY IN North Hollywood, rapper Andre Johnson cut off his penis and jumped out of an apartment building.
It is unclear whether he jumped after realizing he cut off his penis.
Johnson, however, only jumped from the building's second level and survived the fall.
As did his penis.
Both Johnson, and his recovered johnson, were taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where both were being treated.
CNN reported that Johnson has been a member of Northstar, a California hip-hop group that was part of the Wu-Tang Clan family, according to the Wu-Tang Clan website.
But in a Wu-Tang Instagram from wutangbrand, came this:
"Parental Advisory: Don't Believe The HYPE. This Mother Fu---- Ain't Got Sh-- to do with WUTANG ..~Mr .TANG Www.WuTangclan.com";
Sheesh, a guy slices his sausage and everyone denies knowing him.
Andre the not-so-giant, by the way, performs under the name Christ Bearer.
Time, and a surgeon, will determine whether he will rise again.
As Barbara Walters winds down her groundbreaking TV career, "The View" will honor its co-creator, with, among other things, a onetime reunion of all 11 "View" co-hosts.
On May 15, the day before Barbara says bye-bye (although the Friday show is often taped ahead of time), the journalistic trailblazer will be joined by Meredith Vieira, Star Jones, Joy Behar, Debbie Matenopoulos, Lisa Ling, Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck, plus current co-hosts Sherri Shepherd, Jenny McCarthy and Whoopi Goldberg.
In the new Closer Weekly, Valerie Harper is quoted as saying, "I'm absolutely cancer-free!"
"My last scans have been positive, and my doctors are very happy," Valerie adds. "[The oncologist] looked at the scans and said, 'Oh my God, Valerie, this is very encouraging!' "
On March 18, 2013, People magazine put Valerie on the cover with the headline, "Valerie Harper's Brave Goodbye," and said she had only months to live.
"I'm now the poster child for not believing everything I'm told," Valerie now tells Closer.
After Closer sent out its release, Hallmark Channel sent out its own as Valerie is promoting a two-episode appearance in Hallmark's new original series, "Signed, Sealed, Delivered."
"In response to a recent erroneous quote concerning my health, I am not 'absolutely cancer-free,' " Valerie said in the statement. "I wish I were. Right now what I am is cautiously optimistic about my present condition and I have hope for the future."
* In Touch magazine reports that Coco Austin and husband Ice-T are trying to have a baby.
Just a guess, but we bet Ice-T is trying harder.
"Ice and I are very organized - we keep a list of what we need to do, and right now having a baby is next on the life list!" Coco told In Touch. "I'm prenataling it with vitamins and everything to get my body prepared."
"I always told myself that when I turned 35, I would start thinking about a baby," she added.
* In Touch magazine also reports that Lindsay Lohan has fallen off the wagon and has been seen drinking again - at Coachella, at NYC's Electric Room, who knows where else.
An anonymous Coachella eyewitness said Lindsay was seen drinking a vodka soda and "looked completely out of it. She couldn't stand up straight and she was frantically chain-smoking cigarettes."
If her voice gets any raspier she will sound like a chainsaw.
* This story broke the day before yesterday but it was all over the map and Tattle deals in nothing but cold, hard (phrases resembling) facts.
Yesterday the Associated Press reported that Malcolm Young of AC/DC is taking a break from the band to focus on his health.
The announcement saying the 61-year-old guitarist is in "ill health" was posted on the band's Facebook page yesterday. No details were provided.
* John Mellencamp wants Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker to know he supports union rights and collective bargaining, and says Walker should think about that before using his songs on the campaign trail.
It's the second time in four years Mellencamp has chided Walker for using one of his songs while running for office.
* After canceling a concert in Kansas City on Tuesday, Miley Cyrus canceled a concert in St. Louis last night, as she remained hospitalized from a "severe allergic reaction to antibiotics," according to a statement issued by her spokeswoman.
One thing Tattle has learned about celebrities and hospitals - they're almost never there for the reason they claim.
"The hospital is sayin i wont b released today," Miley tweeted yesterday. "therefore Im not going 2 make it 2 St Louis. Im so sorry but somethings are outta my control."
Like writing actual words.
* In addition to a Labor Day slot in Philadelphia, Jay Z is bringing his Made in America music festival to L.A. The shows will run simultaneously, but Philly's will be cooler.
* Howard University has chosen a commencement speaker and caused a bit of an uproar.
Sean "P. Diddy" Combs.
Nope. He dropped out of Howard after two years in 1990.
- Daily News wire services
contributed to this report.
On Twitter: @DNTattle