IT SEEMS LIKE television should just merge every reality show with "Cops."
You've got pregnant teenagers all over the dial, fistfights among the "Real Housewives" and tax cheats on "Survivor."
The latest reality personality to face trouble with the law is Tim Zickuhr, one of History Channel's "Ice Road Truckers" in 2011.
According to TMZ.com, Zickuhr has been charged with three felonies after allegedly kidnapping Snow White and forcing her to jump out a second-story window.
Are there no fetishes left?
She becomes the second Tattle subject to jump from the second floor of a building in the past week. The last guy unfortunately cut off his penis before taking the leap.
If Snow White had a penis, Tattle would need a lot of therapy.
Zickuhr, per police records, has been charged with first-degree kidnapping, extortion and coercion.
Snow White, a Las Vegas hooker, was hired by Zickuhr on Dec. 18 for the usual hooker activities. White paid herself by getting money with Zickuhr's ATM card, but the former "Trucker" claimed she paid herself too much and sought restitution.
They met again at his apartment the next day and he punched her in the face and threatened to kill her if she didn't pay up.
According to her version of events, Zickuhr then tied her up, beat her, poured cold water on her from a mop bucket, locked her in a closet and demanded a phone number for someone who would pay him the money she owed.
Zickuhr, however, learned that messing with Snow White leads to a grim fairy tale. White gave Zickuhr the number of a cop she knew and Zickuhr told him to bring him $1,000 or he would kill Snow White.
And not with a poison apple.
Zickuhr instead forced Snow off the ledge. When the police officer arrived to arrest him, Zickuhr confessed the whole sordid tale.
TMZ.com reports that Wal-Mart heiress Paige Laurie Dubbert has filed for divorce after five years of marriage to Patrick Bode Dubbert.
The cause? Irreconcilable differences - a/k/a thievery.
And Paige has so much dough she's not even contesting the prenup, just asking her lawyers to tell her how many zeroes to put on the check.
Hmm . . . Is she looking to remarry?
Paige also wants to legally change her name back to Elizabeth Paige Laurie.
If you remember that name it's because back in 2005 Paige was in the news because she forfeited her degree from USC after it was learned she paid someone to write her papers (her ex-college roomie told ABC's "20/20" it was about $20,000 over a few years).
That scandal led to a minor scandal at the University of Missouri where Paige's parents paid a small fortune in lead-painted Chinese imports to have the university's sports arena renamed the Paige Sports Arena. Mizzou later took Paige's name off the building.
Now Paige has paid someone to write her divorce papers and file a civil suit against her hubby, whom she claims took money from a retail center he was running in Malibu.
TMZ reports that Paige says Patrick and his pal/co-manager decided they should also be general contractors of the project and that they should give themselves a hefty raise to $70,000 per month. This is on top of the $250,000 a year he was already paying himself.
And Paige says Patrick and his pal weren't qualified to be general contractors - they were just stealing money.
So she'd rather pay him millions to get out of the marriage.
Sure, some rich people become successful because they're smarter or work harder. Others are just lucky to be born well.
* Drew Barrymore and husband Will Kopelman welcomed their second child yesterday, according to People magazine.
"Happy to announce that today we are the proud parents of our second daughter, Frankie Barrymore Kopelman," the couple told People in a statement. "Olive has a new little sister, and everyone is healthy and happy!"
* TheWrap.com reports that "Goldbergs" creator Adam Goldberg says the May 6 show will be a tribute to recently deceased wrestling star The Ultimate Warrior.
ABC said the episode will feature middle child Barry joining the high school wrestling team without telling his mom.
"With the help of fans on Twitter, I was able to get in touch with [Warrior's] family and I'm thrilled to dedicate the May 6th episode to him," Goldberg told TMZ.com. "It's my way of saying thank you for being the coolest hero a kid could ever have."
* Keke Palmer ("Akeelah and the Bee") will becomes TV's youngest talk-show host in July when the 20-year-old's new daily program premieres on BET.
"The Keke Palmer Project" will "target millennials by covering a variety of topics, including fashion, social media, pop culture, sex and more," according to the news release.
* We're starting to understand why those reality TV Duggars have so many kids.
Twenty-one-year-old Jessa Duggar (a Rachel McAdams lookalike) and boyfriend Ben Seewald told PeopleTV that they plan to wait until after their engagement to hold hands and believe they'll save their first kiss until their wedding.
Tattle gets the old adage about not giving the milk away for free, but saving your first kiss until your wedding day is like not even acknowledging there's a cow.
No wonder these fertile folk have so many children - by the time they lie together in the conjugal bed they can't control themselves.
- Daily News wire services
contributed to this report.