Tattle: Wanna get blown up by Michael Bay?

IT HAS LONG been SatTatt's secret dream to be in a movie with giant computer-animated robots and lots of explosions. She figured she would never realize that dream, as L.A. is a long plane ride away and acting experience is generally necessary.

But no longer! Heery Casting yesterday announced an open call for extras in "Transformers 2," directed by king-of-all-that-explodes Michael Bay, for scenes to be shot in June in Philly and Princeton.

The call, which will be held a week from today at Bullies Bar at the Spectrum (3600 S. Broad), is for both SAG and nonunion actors ages 18-70, although an online ad states that college-age men and women are especially needed. Extras will be paid; no acting experience is necessary.

SAG actors should be there from 10-11 a.m. with their card, nonunion from 11-3 p.m. Everyone should bring a mug shot of him/herself. For more info, check out www.heerycasting. com.

Special's the right word

And speaking of special effects . . .

Dispatches from the never-ending child-pornography trial of R. Kelly: Yesterday, a female Kelly fan was arrested after she started yelling "Free R. Kelly!" outside the courtroom. Her bail was set at $50,000.

After the interruption, the trial continued with its usual air of class. Several friends of the girl, who allegedly was Kelly's partner in the 26-minute sex tape and who appears to be 12 or 13 years old, took the stand to identify her.

During the cross-examination of Simha Johnson, the former best friend of the girl, Kelly's attorney, Sam Adams Jr., proposed that the tape could have been faked with computers.

Adams used the example of the 2006 movie "Little Man," in which some power-addled Hollywood producer decided that it would be funny to digitally graft the head of Marlon Wayans onto the body of a dwarf. The effect, if you have not seen this particular film, is less comedic than uncanny, uncomfortable and unbelievably terrifying.

After asking Johnson if she had seen the movie, Adams asked, "It looked real, didn't it?"

Johnson's eyebrow-cocked reply of "Not really!" cracked the courtroom up.

Congratulations on no convictions!

Nicole Richie will receive a Golden Pacifier award for parenting from Babytalk magazine. Editor-in-chief Lisa Moran cites as an example for young mothers Richie's turnaround from DUIs and partying since her pregnancy.

Because if you have a child and give up blowing coke and driving drunk, that's clearly award-worthy rather than the only acceptable option. Where's SatTatt's mom's medal?

Also receiving a golden pacifier is Ricki Lake for her part in the 2008 documentary "The Business of Being Born." The movie was notable for discussing the issues involved with giving birth at home, but was mostly noted for its extremely graphic birth scenes, including Lake giving birth to her second child in a bathtub.

Although SatTatt is all about motherhood, she feels that mandatory screenings of this movie in middle schools across America would reduce teen pregnancy by way of sheer dread. The depictions of birth are beautiful and miraculous and everything, but what they are most of all is realistic, bloody and enough to make any teenage girl think three or four times before having unprotected sex.

And that definitely deserves a golden pacifier. *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.