Solomon Jones: Obama foes are just going to hate this
PRESIDENT Obama received the Nobel Peace Prize yesterday, and the reactions were predictable. Those who support him were elated, while those who oppose him were not.
PRESIDENT Obama received the Nobel Peace Prize yesterday, and the reactions were predictable. Those who support him were elated, while those who oppose him were not.
What happens going forward will depend upon many factors, including his enemies' determination to minimize the award. That means that the president, like every person who achieves excellence, will be subject to the whims of haters.
That sounds silly, right? I mean, haters don't have access to the president, do they? If that is your assumption, you're wrong. Haters exist at every level of society, filling the nooks and crannies of our existence like butter on English muffins. They are men and women, young and old, black and white, rich and poor, and they're out there, right this minute, hatin' on President Obama.
Even as you read this, haters are driving along in their hater-mobiles, talking on their hater-phones, texting their hater-friends and planning their next move while sipping 40-ounce bottles of Hater-ade. That's the energy drink that haters guzzle before engaging in what R&B singer Mary J. Blige so eloquently calls hateration.
What is hateration? Simply put, it is an outspoken form of envy that rears its ugly head whenever haters spot somebody doing something they wish they could.
The sad thing is, haters could probably achieve great things if they only tried, but they don't. Can you imagine what would happen if haters put half the energy into, say, swimming, as they do into hating? They would all be Michael Phelpses. The only problem is we would be the water.
Like swimmers use water to propel themselves forward, haters use the rest of us to push themselves to greater heights in their own minds. They need to feel like they're pulling someone else down in order to lift themselves up. Maybe that's why they spend so much time trying to pick the rest of us apart.
Perhaps you've seen a hater in action. She's the chick at work who spends her lunch break complaining to your co-workers about the promotion you earned while she was watching reruns of "The Bold and the Beautiful" online. He's the guy who tells everyone in your neighborhood that you're a drug dealer because you bought a new Chevy Tahoe (like any self-respecting drug dealer would drive a Chevy). He's the twerp at the water cooler who's angry because the president received the Nobel Peace Prize.
Haters aren't all bad, though. They have a lot going for them. Picture the commitment it takes to ignore your own goals and aspirations in favor of squashing someone else's. Imagine how focused you have to be to spend so much time downing someone else that you ultimately down yourself. Do you know how much practice goes into that?
Of course you know, because the same people who are now spending all their time hating on Obama once spent their time hating on you. They needed you, needed to down you for getting a new house or buying a new dress or trying a new hairdo. They needed to hone their craft on you so they could learn to hate on a presidential level.
Be that as it may, I don't think we should be angry with the haters. I don't think we should put them down. I don't even think we should chide them. I think we should applaud them. In fact, I think we should give them what they've been craving all along:some recognition of their own.
So here goes. If you're mad because President Obama received an award for trying to balance all the hate in the world with just a little bit of peace, congratulations. You've just won the Nobel Hate Prize. It comes with $2.50 and a bag of doughnuts. Do us all a favor and follow the president's example. Donate your winnings to charity.
Solomon Jones' column appears every Saturday. He can be reached at