Solomon Jones: It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...Supermom!
I'VE NEVER been into comic books, but I've always admired the qualities of superheroes. I like their work ethic, because, frankly, it's hard enough getting up to go to work when you're earning a paycheck. Imagine how difficult it is to do so knowing that someone is probably going to try to kill you and on top of that, you won't be getting paid.
I'VE NEVER been into comic books, but I've always admired the qualities of superheroes.
I like their work ethic, because, frankly, it's hard enough getting up to go to work when you're earning a paycheck. Imagine how difficult it is to do so knowing that someone is probably going to try to kill you and on top of that, you won't be getting paid.
I also like their fashion sense. While I might not pull off the blue tights and flowing cape that Superman made famous or Wolverine's jacked-up haircut, I'd consider rocking Batman's preferred accessories: black armor, hot car and mansion - complete with Batcave and butler.
I like their humility. With the exception of Spider-Man as an alien-controlled jerk in that last flick, I've always seen superheroes do their very best to deflect credit for repeatedly saving the world.
Of course, superheroes don't really exist. But if they did, they wouldn't be the muscled-up, testosterone-driven yahoos common in pop culture. Their work outfits would range from business suits to haute couture, high-priced shoes to worn slippers. But no matter what they wore, these superheroes would be known by a single name - Mom.
What other occupation combines work ethic, fashion sense and humility with butt-kicking practicality? Cops? Heroic, but fashion-challenged. Soldiers? Brave, but kinda dirty.
Moms fight daily battles without the benefit of a paycheck, and still manage to look good while doing so. Moms hide their secret identities behind hair rollers and housecoats complete with pockets containing their secret weapon - lunch money. And when moms are confronted with their children's evil schemes, their shoes can morph from evening heels to weapons of mass destruction in a nanosecond.
Knowing that moms have these qualities, I wasn't surprised to hear that my son, 5-year-old Little Solomon, told my wife, LaVeta, that her Nintendo DSI name should be Supermom.
It all started last week, when 8-year-old Eve was playing with her Nintendo DSI, and wanted to know her screen name. She turned to our household IT person, LaVeta, who'd spent a couple of hours on Christmas Eve reading the mammoth instruction booklet and setting up screen names while I watched helplessly.
"Use my screen name," LaVeta said. "It's 'Mom.' "
"Supermom!" Little Solomon chimed in.
LaVeta chuckled. "So, what would my powers be if I was Supermom?"
"You would do like this," he said, waving his hand, "and put Vaseline on me and get me dressed really fast like Mary Poppins."
LaVeta, who frequently makes the kids watch old shows because they contain less kissing and violence, concluded that she may have overdone it; our son has apparently watched so much 1960s and 1970s fare that he now sees his mother as a cross between Mary Poppins and Samantha from Bewitched.
"So what else would your mom be able to do if she were Supermom?" I asked him later.
"She would have magic to put on our clothes," he said, "and she could do magic words to cook."
"Would she have a cape?"
"No capes, because she can't fly," he said. "She can only cook dinner and put on our coats by magic, and she can run really fast and get our medicine."
It was clear from his answers that the boy valued his mother's ability to dress him, feed him and take care of him when he was sick. But LaVeta, who was listening in on our exchange, homed in on Little Solomon's refusal to give her the ultimate superpower.
"Why don't you want me to be able to fly?" she asked.
He shrugged.
"You probably don't want me flying because you're afraid I might fly away and stop waiting on you."
The boy smiled. I did, too. We both know a superhero when we see one.
Solomon Jones' column appears every Saturday. He can be reached at