Brace yourself. OK, now unbrace yourself. Unnamed Source, who gets around, tells Us Weekly that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, who revealed their romancelet only a scant month ago, are getting "serious." Ego plus ego equals eek! They're talking "getting rings," it says here. (What, we're on a merry-go-round now?) This is not really a story, not a sniff of evidence there's anything at all here, but the faux(?) couple(?) are said to be "talking marriage." Dizzying, ain't it? A romance that may not be, escalating to an engagement that might be, for a wedding that shouldn't be. Whatever the heck is going on, if KK really wants to become Mrs. KW, first she needs to get her gorgeous, talent-free self divorced from basketballer Kim Humphreys. Their celebrated faux-marriage got blasted out of space after 72 days. We at "SideShow" dearly love the ingenuity of striking up fake unions to stoke one's reality show. Reality really rules!
Is there a doctor in the house?
"Next you'll tell me Shaquille O'Neal has a doctorate." Actually, yeah. On Saturday, the retired b-baller will receive his Ph.D. in organizational learning and leadership, specializing in human resources development. We don't know what that means, either. It's from Barry University, a previously unsuspected Catholic school in Miami Shores, Fla. So Shaq'll get out of his Buick LaCrosse (if he even can!), don mortarboard and cloak, and walk the walk. Congrats, Big Guy!
Jack White tops the CD charts!
Jack White has never had a No. 1 CD. Until now! His first solo album, Blunderbuss, debuts atop the Billboard Hot 100, sez here, selling 138,000 units. Yay, Jack! He just dominatedAdele, whose 21 is the deuteragonist (No. 2) on the list, selling 83K, and, more amazingly, getting that charmed album closer to nine million total sales. Such totals don't happen too often these days. Lionel Richie's Tuskegee is at 3 with 78K, followed by (4) One Direction's Up All Night (50K), (5) Lee Brice's Hard 2 Love (46K), (6) Kip Moore's Up All Night, a popular title this week (37K), (7) The Wanted, the debut compilation EP from nasty-mouth Brit boy babies The Wanted, (37K), (8) Nicki Minaj's Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded, tanking at 32K, (9) Gotye's Making Mirrors, with 32K, and (10) Jason Mraz's unoriginally yet factually titled Love Is a Four Letter Word with 29K. Changing of the guard note: Madonna's MDNA welters at No. 45, selling a tiny 9K, and it will do well to crawl to 500K total.
Skinnygirl kicks booze-market butt
Speaking of marketing, all honor to Bethenny Frankel, once of Real Housewives of New York. Her Skinnygirl Cocktails is the fastest-growing spirit brand in the land, according to watchdog Technomic. It has spurted 388 percent and now ships a half-million cases. BF launched her first low-cal cocktail, Skinnygirl Margarita, only in 2009. Now ya got three wines, four flavored vodkas, and a piña colada deal. What? No slivovitz? Last year, she sold the brand to liquor dudes Beam. No one knows for how much. So what's better: a fake love affair (see above) or fake cocktails? Reality really rules!
Mysterious blaze at Tyler Perry's
A fire damaged Tyler Perry's studio in Atlanta on Tuesday. More than 100 firefighters showed up, but Perry was unavailable for autographs. It's quite a place: 200K square feet, five sound stages, a 400-seat theater, and a private screening room.
Freak us out with dumb man activity
"Next you'll tell me Jay-Z is doing the dumbest thing a human of the male persuasion married to Beyoncé could do: Hit on a lady at a club." How did you know? In Touch Weekly claims an Insider claims that very thing. Jayz goes clubbin' at night, leaving B at home with widdle Blue Ivy, and B is steamed, In Touch says Insider says. Shut up, Insider. You lie. Men are dumb, but could anyone with an X and Y chromosome be THAT dumb??? ... Yes. A sin against maleness!
"Next you'll tell me Wiz Khalifa got nabbed for marijuana possession again Tuesday, 10 days after his last nabbing." Correct! Which does he like more, d'you think — getting high or getting arrested? Wiz-K got done in Nashville on April 21, and Tuesday night, before his concert in Winston-Salem, N.C., his tour bus was searched and found to contain about 11.39 grams (kind of a half ounce) of wack-weed. Now he's gotta report to court.
... But, of course, girls are smarter ...
Seems Paulina Gretzky, daughter of hockey great Wayne Gretzky, is runnin' wild in Vegas and documenting it on Instagram and as many social media as she can fill with nasty pictures. Folks are muttering about it up in Canada. Paulina obviously has not learned to do these things U.S.-celeb fashion: Claim the widely distributed pornish shots were stolen!
Items of more than passing interest
Now you know: The Sexiest Woman in the World is Tulisa Contostavlos, a household name, we're sure, in three or four U.S. houses. This according to the mag FHM. She's a judge on the U.K.'s X Factor talent show, and an emerita of the band N-Dubz. ... Frances Bean Cobain, 19, now owns the rights to the image of her father, Nirvana rocker Kurt Cobain. Her mom, Courtney Love, agreed to let go those rights in return for a $2.75 million loan from Frances' trust fund in 2010. She won't get the rights back until she repays the loan. ... All blue-eyed people are related, a Danish study says. So Taylor Swift, Frank Sinatra, Nicole Kidman, Paul Newman, Bob Dylan, and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart are all some kind of cousin. Kind of makes the rest of us feel like dog meat. But we at "SideShow" thought everyone was related. ...