DEAR ABBY: I am 20 and have been with my boyfriend, "Griffin," for five years. He recently gave me a beautiful promise ring. I would like to spend the rest of my life with him, but I think I have a problem.
I am going to become an adoption professional, and I plan on adopting one day. Griffin knows I'm pursuing this career and that I want to adopt, but I don't think he understands how serious I am about it. We don't plan on being married until after college, when we'll both be 25.
I don't want to wait five more years and find he's not on the same page and that I wasted my time. When I try to discuss it, Griffin says we're "too young to think about it."
- Mapping Out My Future in L.A.
DEAR MAPPING: It appears you are more mature than your boyfriend. Because you are determined to eventually adopt a child, I agree that it's important for you to know whether Griffin has any negative feelings about adoption, because some people are unable to accept a child who is not their own. The next time he says you're too young to think about such things, explain that.
DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Annie," is a single mother, holds a full-time job and trains for triathlons. Her son, "Cooper," is 3. Annie has him enrolled in day care from 7 a.m. until 4 p.m. Afterward, she picks up Cooper from day care and checks him into the gym's child care service while she works out.
I have offered to pick my grandson up from day care once a week and keep him until Annie finishes her workout.
Annie has become defensive. She says we're offering because we think she's neglecting him. Actually, I DO think so. It breaks my heart that my grandson spends 12 hours a day in day care.
- Worried Granny in the Southwest