Q:My husband has suddenly started turning me off. His light, whis- pery touch irritates me and when he kisses me his mouth is always wet. I tried telling him but nothing changes.
Mia: You told him once? Now, tell him again. And again. Take his hand and show him how you'd like to be touched. Take a tissue and dry his mouth off before he kisses you. If he looks at you like you're crazy - and he will - make a joke out of it and then kiss the heck out of him. Show him how you'd like to be treated. He'll get the message. If he doesn't, keep at it until he does.
Steve: Most husbands like to know what excites their wives and what's a turn off, because keeping the wife happy keeps the husband happy. Tell him as lovingly as you can what needs to change, but if he still doesn't get it, try a blunter approach. He'll come around.
Q: My boyfriend is an unemployed actor who works only occasionally and, when he does, he never makes much. When Christmas or birthdays roll around, he doesn't buy me much and always uses the excuse that he doesn't have any money. This angers me, but I don't say anything because I don't want to come off as shallow. Besides, with me and him, it's not about the money. That's what I tell myself. But deep down, I think if he really cared, he would get a part-time job so he could buy me something really nice for a change. What do you think? Should I say something?
Mia: Your boyfriend is a bum. If you stick around, don't expect things to get better. They'll probably get worse.
Steve: Whether he's a bum depends on his work ethic. Is he aggressively seeking jobs? Always trying to improve his acting skills? Taking classes to expand his opportunities? If yes, then cut him some slack. If no, then Mia's probably right.