I am 28 and engaged to marry a wonderful man, "Ryan." Before I met him, I was involved in an affair with my married boss and was deeply in love with him. (I still am.) We continued our affair even after I met Ryan, and now I think I'm pregnant. I told my boss and, naturally, he's not happy about it.
I don't know how to tell Ryan or if I even want to. I have always wanted to be a mother, and now I have the chance. But I may end up doing it alone in poor financial shape. I also won't have a home to live in once my old-fashioned mother finds out I've gotten myself pregnant before marriage. Any advice?
- Scared Stupid in New Jersey
DEAR SCARED STUPID: Yes. Take a pregnancy test to determine whether you really are pregnant. If it turns out that you are, then you must tell your fiance everything. Even if Ryan walks away, the baby's father will be legally responsible for child support.
It is important that you also tell your mother what's going on. She may not be thrilled to hear the news, but I doubt she will put you and her grandchild-to-be out on the street. A generation or two ago that might have happened, but no longer.
DEAR ABBY: I know if a girl breaks off the engagement, she's supposed to return the ring to her ex-fiance. Does the situation of a wife filing for divorce fall under the same set of rules? I need a response soon.
- Craig in Houston
DEAR CRAIG: No. If the rings were given with the promise of marriage and the promise was fulfilled, she is not expected to return them.