I'm in my early 20s, happily married, and financially secure. My husband and I have been discussing having children. My problem is that my sister has been trying to start a family for three years, to no avail because she has infertility issues.
These issues run in our family, and there is a 75 percent chance that I will have the same problem. Should I talk to my sister about my trying to get pregnant, or wait until I'm pregnant and break the news to her then? Since I may have the same problem she's having, I don't want to discuss something with her that may never happen.
- Don't Want to Hurt Her
DEAR DON'T WANT TO HURT HER: "Springing" news that you are pregnant would be more of a jolt to her than hearing that you're trying. I see no reason to keep this a secret from your sister. Because problems conceiving run in your family, talking about it might be helpful to both of you. If you do become pregnant, she may want to consult your doctor. If it doesn't happen, the two of you can emotionally support each other.
Back into dating - and just shocked
After 20 years of marriage, I am now again in the dating world - and wow, have things ever changed. What happened to the days when men would open doors, kiss your cheek, or try to impress you by sending flowers, complimenting you, and chasing you to go out with them? Nowadays, the guys expect me to impress them, call them first, etc.
What are your thoughts on this? I have been on numerous dates, and out of all of them, only one man acted like an old-school gentleman. Unfortunately, he was only 30. I'm in my mid-40s.
I'm not superrich, but I have a stable job, good benefits, and two well-behaved boys. What's wrong with me?
- New to the Dating World
DEAR NEW: Nothing is wrong with you. In fact, if men still chased you, complimented you, and didn't expect to drag you to bed in the late '80s and early '90s, you were lucky. Old-fashioned romance started dying out in the late 1960s and early '70s. As women became more aggressive, men became more passive.
If you like the way the 30-year-old man treats you, don't let the age difference get in the way. Grab him - his kind is now a rarity.
Careful with using the term 'witch'
DEAR ABBY: On Feb. 5, you referred to someone as a "controlling, slave-driving witch." A lot of people in the Wiccan community, practitioners of Wicca, use the term
with positive connotations. There are several slur words that I heard growing up that I would never dream of using these days because of how society has changed. Please help to spread the word.
It took years of fighting, but we are now recognized by the VA and included on headstones with other religious symbols.
And, by the way, in our religion, the word warlock is an insult that means "oath breaker." Witch is a gender-neutral term.
- Proud Male Witch and Veteran
DEAR PROUD MALE WITCH AND VETERAN: I hope that you and other members of the Wiccan religion will forgive my lapse, which was made out of ignorance. I used the term witch as a substitute for the word I wanted to use, because my editors told me that word was not acceptable in family newspapers.