News item: CBS3 anchor Alycia Lane tried to call Gov. Rendell last Sunday during an Eagles-Cowboys game to "tell her side of the story" of her encounter with a New York City cop. She didn't get through until Monday. But what if she had?
Lane: Hi, governor! It's your favorite hottie TV news woman!
Lane: Guess again.
Governor: Cecily? Erin?
Lane: No, it's Alycia, governor. A-l-y-c-i-a.
Governor: Alycia! Can you hang on a minute, sweetheart? It's third down. I gotta see this play.
Lane: Oh, well, OK.
Governor: Go! Go!
Lane: But you just told me to wait.
Governor: Huh? No, not you. I was yelling at the TV. What's wrong, Alycia? Did you e-mail pictures of yourself in a bikini to somebody's wife again?
Lane: No, I got arrested.
Governor: Oh! What a hit!
Lane: So you've heard about it already? I swear, governor, I didn't hit that policewoman!
Governor: You hit who? Run! Run!
Lane: You really think I should leave town?
Governor: No, not you, Alycia. Go ahead, tell me what happened.
Lane: Well, my boyfriend and I were in a cab with friends. It was late. We were in the meat-packing district.
Governor: Did he score? Yes!
Lane: Honestly, governor, that's beside the point.
Governor: Huh? Uh, go on, Alycia.
Lane: We were behind this car that was going really, really slow. It was like, so frustrating. So my boyfriend got out and yelled at them.
Governor: What a terrible call!
Lane: You're right, governor, he should have stayed in the cab. But what's done is done. Anyway, the next thing I know, they were grabbing him.
Governor: Yes, they tackled him! Flattened him!
Lane: Governor, you are so insightful. It's like you were there. Anyway, it turns out they were plainclothes cops!
Governor: Dammit! Somebody missed an assignment there!
Lane: Not at all, governor! I got out my iPhone to take pictures. Because I am a reporter, you know.
Governor: Gotta punch it in now.
Lane: I'm telling you, there was no punching! They say I hit the female officer and called her a derogatory name that's slang for "lesbian." But that is totally not what happened, governor. I never touched her, and I didn't call her a name, either. I may have said something like, "I'm a reporter, speak into my mike." But I would never use that other nasty word.
Governor: C'mon, c'mon, air it out more!
Lane: More? I've really told you everything. I feel better getting this off my chest. You are such a good listener, governor. I will never forget this.
Governor: It's fourth down. Go for it! Go for it!
Lane: You think I should fight the charges? Yes, I see what you mean. It's fourth down on my career. I need to go for it! Governor, I don't know how to thank you.
Governor: Huh? Don't mention it, Alycia. Midge! Beer me!