Today's NFL report appears on Page 2 of The Inquirer's sports section and is a sad commentary on what we deal with every day in the world of sports journalism.
Actually, it's not sad anymore. It's routine.
Just in case you left your copy of the paper on the Paoli Local, here's what the NFL report contains:
The Cowboys Terrell Owens missed a drug test and was called to New York to explain.
The Bears' Cedric Benson was waived after getting charged in a second alcohol-related incident.
The attorney for the Bills' Marshawn Lynch met with the Buffalo district attorney over a hit-and-run incident involving Lynch's SUV.
Titans linebacker Ryan Fowler is under investigation by the NFL in connection with an apparent steroid case, according to his lawyer.
Michael Vick will be tried on Virginia charges of promoting dog fighting when he gets out of federal prison.
And, just to keep former stars' names in the news, Hall of Famer Ken Stabler was charged with DUI.
I know what you're thinking: You're thinking we don't have to run all these depressing accounts of men behaving badly.
Well, yes we do. Because if we don't, you'll accuse us of covering up for millionaires.
Besides, there's a limit to the number of stories we can run on Euro soccer, when one of the big games finished in a nil-nil draw.
P.S.: One local wag claims T.O. missed the test "because it came in the fourth quarter of a close game."