In Radnor, one who knows talks about date rape

Katie Koestner was a freshman at the College of William and Mary in the fall of 1990 when she met a fellow student she described as having awesome hair, a great jawline, and buttons on his shirt.

"I thought he was fantastic," she said.

Then he raped her, she said.

Koestner, now director of Campus Outreach Services in Wayne, spoke Monday before a group of about 100 counselors, teachers, administrators, and law enforcement officials about date rape and risky behavior at the Radnor Township Municipal Building.

"Rape is the most serious underreported crime we see in law enforcement," said William Colarulo, Radnor police superintendent.

Koestner, a board member of the Take Back the Night Foundation, appeared on a 1991 cover of Time with her story.

On Monday, Koestner peppered her personal account with statistics: Ninety percent of sexual assaults involve alcohol; one in four women, and from one in six to one in 10 men, depending on the study, will become sexual-assault victims; 80 percent of the victims know their attackers.

"Date rape didn't exist when I was 18," Koestner said.

As a freshman, Koestner signed up for an all-girls dorm. Koestner found a way to bump into the young man in the school's cafeteria. They made plans to study together, and eventually he asked her out.

The evening started innocently enough - the perfect date, actually. They had a romantic dinner at a fancy French restaurant in Williamsburg, Va. There was champagne. He had all the right lines. They went to her dormitory room, where they danced and kissed.

Koestner said no to his advances - numerous times, she recounted. She told him to get off her; he told her to "calm down and relax, everything will be fine if you relax."

Koestner reported the rape to a resident adviser, who took her to the campus health center, where a nurse offered her a sleeping pill. She then went to the police and prosecutor, who said that while they believed her story, there wasn't enough evidence to press charges.

The college convened a hearing of its own, and her attacker brought two attorneys. She was alone. He was found guilty and barred from her dorm for a year. She said he later assaulted another girlfriend after the two had been drinking.

Koestner encouraged the group to develop programs that work on prevention of date rape and learn about the resources in the community that can provide services for victims.

Koestner, who has spoken at roughly 2,500 schools, said she still hears about 10 stories of rape every day.

"For me, I can't sit still," Koestner said. "There is too much work to be done."

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@MariSchaefer