I RECENTLY attended a Sixers game at the Wachovia Center. I hadn't been to a game in a while and figured I'd buy a $10 ticket.

When I reached the ticket window, I asked for a $10 ticket and the man behind the glass said, "Fourteen dollars."

Perplexed, I said, "I want a $10 ticket." He responded, "It is, but there's a $4 window fee." A "window fee"?

I understand how they can add fees when tickets are ordered online, but why is there a fee to buy a ticket at the box office? I hope other businesses don't get wind of this, or maybe we'll be in for . . .

Supermarkets: Conveyor belt fee, cart use fee.

Doctor's office: Appointment fee, tongue depressor fee.

Sporting events: Pee fee. (You pay to put your beer in and see it leave. Lurie and Banner may just pioneer this one.)

N.J. boardwalk: Walking fee pays for beach replenishment. No more strolling around and not buying. You'll be required to wear a light-up necklace.

Malls: Entrance fee. No more window-shopping or getting in your morning walk away from the weather.

Fast-food chains: Drive-through fee to help offset global warming when we idle our cars.

Public restrooms: TP fee. With a wave of your credit card,

you'll have access to toilet paper. Goes hand in hand with the flush fee and water fee to wash your hands.

Start getting used to it. These fees are not as far-fetched as you think. Thirty years ago, we didn't pay for TV, radio or water (from a bottle). Now we have to pay to talk through a window?

The Sixers are lucky to get anyone to their games these days. They should have given me a $4 credit to watch them play the winless Nets. (The proof of Sixer irrelevance is the return of Allen Iverson.)

When I go to my next game, I'll take up a collection from those in line and do one big transaction. If I can get seven buyers, I'll charge $2 each.

They'll save $2, and I'll get in free.

Bill Lennon, Cherry Hill