FORMER PHILLIE Lenny Dykstra is filing another lawsuit.
This time, according to TMZ, he's claiming suffered brain damage when he was allegedly beaten by Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies while serving time for grand theft auto.
Lenny's asking for a cool $15 million.
Dykstra claims that in April 2012, six sheriff's deputies slammed his head against the wall and broke several of his teeth.
A sheriff's spokesman is on record as saying officers had to restrain Dykstra after he became aggressive.
"Nails" filed a lawsuit against the county sheriff's department two years later, but there are no reports on how it turned out.
This time, according to TMZ, Dykstra claims that one of the deputies whistled "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" while beating him.
TMZ reported that, according to court documents, Dykstra fears "his head is not entirely well."
We know it's piling on, but what the heck . . . if you don't laugh about Chip Kelly and the Eagles, you'll cry. With that, we culled some one-liners that would make Henny Youngman proud:
Q: Why do pigeons fly upside down over the Linc?
A: There's nothing worth crapping on.
Q: What do the Eagles and television evangelists have in common?
A: They can both get 50,000 people to stand in unison and invoke the Lord's name.
Q: Want to hear an Eagles joke?
A: Chip Kelly!
Q: What do you get when you breed Chip Kelly and a groundhog?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
Q: What's the difference between an ostrich and Chip Kelly?